Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Fun With Elevators

by: LaLa

After an afternoon spent doing nothing and everything all at once, we rounded up all of our gear and headed back into the Yacht Club.

While there are a million reasons to love staying at deluxe resorts, there is also one pretty big reason to loathe staying at deluxe resorts. For us anyway.

Around these here parts, we like to call it The Walk of Shame.

No matter how hard I try not to, I always feel a little sheepish walking back into a resort from the pool. Looking like a hot mess. With pool hair. Eyes burned crimson red from the chlorine. Fingers pruned to such an extent that it’s hard to keep a grip on anything, let alone a six foot long wet noodle. Dripping wet and carrying all of our pool crap (and extra towels we swiped from the pool area) as others are mingling around the lobby, dressed for dinner.

Fresh. Rested. Perfectly coiffed. Adequately perfumed. Possessing all their teeth. Dry. Wearing heels.

And slipping in our wake as we cut a trail from one end of the lobby to the other. Loaded down with an armful of wet pool paraphernalia and looking like something the cat drug in.

Feels very Clampett-ish to me. Which is a very unfamiliar feeling. To us. In Opposite World.

Some families come from the pool looking as though they’ve just stepped off Parenting magazine’s July issue cover shoot. They're dry, they carry nothing in their hands, and not one hair is out of place. I hate those people. And by ‘hate‘, I mean ‘strongly dislike’. What I really mean is: I’ve never understood those people. In contrast, we’re messy, we’re hot, we’re wet, we’re sweaty, we’re louder than we probably should be, our bag is overpacked, (duh!) and so are our arms.

In other words: we’re as real as it gets. Or…as redneck as it gets.

Especially when you factor in four huge soaking wet bright red and blue pool noodles. The ones we made the boy carry.

At the time, it seemed like a perfect plan. Make him more responsible. Make the boy earn his keep. “Here, son. Take these four pool noodles that are EVERY BIT as big as you are and tote them for us a ways. It’ll toughen you up. Make you grow some hair on your chest”. We said.

Looking back, that might not have been the BEST option. Considering all the breakables around.

And so it was that we schlepped and slid our way across the shiny hardwood floor that anchors the stoic Yacht Club lobby that day. Laughing loudly. At ourselves, mostly. We eventually arrived at the elevator and found two very well dressed older gentlemen already waiting inside. They were well coiffed. Well groomed. Fresh. Rested. Dry. Not possessing all their teeth. Looking for Grey Poupon. They eyed us with concern as we showed up in their lives behind Door Number Two, this motley crew who had OBVIOUSLY been having entirely too much fun for entirely too long at the pool. You could see the wheels turning as they weighed their options. But they knew it as well as we did: they were trapped. They’d have to share an elevator with the Clampetts and all their pool crap.

"Jolly Good Show!", they said to each other. Sarcastically. With their dorkalicious braided nose hair.

We greeted them warmly but were ignored. For the life of me, I can’t imagine why. Thankfully, the ride up was swift and smooth and as we arrived at our floor, we bid them adieu.

In the way that only a true LaLa can.

The door opens and Mr. Newfound Responsibility steps forward. Carrying with him the still soaking wet pool noodles. All four of them. As he does, he turns around, then doubles back and bends over to pick up something. Then stands up again and turns around. And in the process, he unintentionally smacks both men square in the face with the noodles.

Two men. Four noodles to the face each. It was a soaking wet jackslap in rapid fire succession. If you’ve ever seen the Price is Right wheel being spun and watched the big red triangular pointer slapping those numbers as they speed by, you’ve witnessed The Elevator Pool Noodle Incident.

Only with people. And noodles.


It was like something from the Three Stooges.

I felt bad for the men and worse for the boy, who was MORTIFIED for a few minutes. Until the silent shaking laughter took over. Once the doors closed behind him. Because that was, hands down, one of the funniest sights I think I’ve ever seen. Even though they CLEARLY did not care for the unjust treatment they received.

I believe we may have even knocked a toupe loose.

Of course we apologized profusely and I did feel bad. A little bit. Not a whole lot though. Because it was so stinkin’ hilarious. And because my line of thinking is that if you’re wearing a toupe, you deserve to have it knocked off your head by a wet noodle in a Disney elevator. I mean, c’mon! You’re not fooling anybody with that thing.

I’m looking at you, ZZUB.

And that one incident was the catalyst for so many of our jokes for the remainder of the week. Most of them revolving around us being forced out of the Yacht Club and being shipped back to "The Pop Cent’r-eh". Where we belong. We’d do something stupid and one of the kids would yell, “There’s the bus, come to take us back to The Pop Cent-reh!”

And we’d all laugh ourselves silly. Knowing they weren’t getting’ rid of us THAT easy.

After yet another Elevator Incident to add to the LaLa Family Book of Unforgettable Disney Moments, we made our way back to our room in order to get ready for our dinner that night.

Since it was DH’s actual birthday, he chose our park and dinner destination for the evening. He could’ve gone anywhere and done anything, but the man chose Epicot and Le Cellier to ring in his birthday proper. And there was no other place I would’ve rather been that night. Love me some Mr. LaLa and his line of thinking.

The word on the street lately has been that Le Cellier will soon be listed as a Signature restaurant on the Dining Plan. I discovered this shortly before we went and gave DH the 411. I have to say, we’re both pretty bummed about it because we really enjoy Le Cellier. We don’t normally eat at Signature restaurants on the Dining Plan. I just hate spending two credits on one meal, even if the food rocks. Just doesn’t seem worth it to me for some reason. So for months, we had really been looking forward to what might turn out to be our last meal at Le Cellier for a really long time.

We cleaned up and headed out, anxious to get the night started.

On our walk toward the elevators, we noticed (again) that we seemed to be the only ones around. There's something about having the whole floor to yourself (or at least feeling that way) that lends itself to some serious tomfoolery. And since it was DH's birthday and he was feeling awfully peppy that night, he proposed a few elevator shenanigans. In the form of a game.

Basically, there are four elevators and four LaLas. So we each pick one set of elevator doors and stand in front of it, then push the button. At the same time. That part is crucial. The person whose doors slide open first wins the prize.

Although, and here's the catch: the prize is always a mystery prize. At DH's sole discretion. It's like Forest Gump and his box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

The winner that night happened to be Yours Truly. As I did a little victory dance, I was swept up by my husband. Evidently, the prize that night was some unexpected, shameless PDA. I even got dipped at the end of the kiss so you KNOW the man was feeling about twenty instead of forty that night! I may have lifted an eyebrow and given him a look afterwards. Indicating I appreciated the gesture.

Our kids, who were looking on with disgust, however....did not appreciate the gesture! Even though they both giggled AFTER they finished telling us how wrong that was. And how gross we were.

We are now, officially, our parents.

Tomfoolery behind us, we got on with the business of getting over to Epicot. Our Epicot.

This would be the first time we would ever walk to Epcot from our resort (!!!) and we enjoyed it immensely. On the way over. Not so much later that night on the way back.

But more on that later.

The walk is a very easy one and although we kinda missed having Spaceship Earth all up in our grill, it was SO DADGUM cool to just waltz in the back door of Epcot. Once we arrived, we scanned from east to west and tried our hardest to let our eyes linger on everything in between. We took in the sights and listened to that familiar music that we love so much. We stood around and just breathed in the atmosphere for a little bit. With smiles all around.

Man, I LOVE me some World Showcase. It totally rocks.

We made our way over to Le Cellier in plenty of time for our ADR.

Once we arrive at the check in counter, DH is greeted with a round of enthusiastic “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!s” from the girls on duty that night. He immediately goes into recon mode and pokes his finger, that one big finger, their way. “How old do you think I am?”, he shoots. Putting them on the spot. The smiles slowly fade from their faces and they seem confused. As the seconds tick by. Loudly. Slowly.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Their brows furrow and the smiles return to their faces. This time, a little more plastic than the last.





“Oh, I mean….uhm……23?”

“That’s better. Now g’on and scare us up a table. Because I’m 40 today and I’m ready to eat, dadgummit!”

And eat we did. Le Cellier still ranks right up there as one of our all time favorite restaurants in the World Showcase. We were not disappointed. For us, it’s about the food and the atmosphere.

For the kids, it’s all about the milkshakes and smoothies. And the fact that the servers tend to play it a little fast and loose with the dining plan requirements there. Guiding us on how to get the most bang for our credits. Yet another reason to love Le Cellier.

DH got a little birthday love to boot as he was treated to a table decorated for his birthday.

Because we'd already had a big 40th surprise party for him and I'd sprung for an awesome cake at home, I didn't order a cake here. Although I was tempted, because Disney makes some fine lookin' cakes. But when they brought his creme brulee out for his desert, it was decorated appropriately and he seemed to like it. Very nice.

Once dinner was over, we rolled ourselves out the door and strolled around the serene lagoon at sunset. Giddy as could be.

We had plans to take in Illuminations that night and by our watch, we still had plenty of time left before we needed to grab a seat and settle in for the show of all shows. So because it was STILL my husband’s birthday (what is he, eighty now? I feel like we’ve been celebrating this for MONTHS) and Test Track is probably his favorite ride in all of Epcot, we headed in that direction. Thinking that, by some miracle, there might not be a line and we might be able to take a quick spin before gathering around the fire to watch a true adventure emerge.

An hour and a half later, we’d watched a true adventure emerge, alright.

But it wasn’t exactly the one we had in mind.


  1. ....And that's the ballgame!!! Oh.My.Goodness. I haven't laughed that hard, CRIED, really since your LAST Elevator Incident. Well, I think it was your last. The one with the lady in the ECV over by Garden Grill? Anywho, you killed me DED DED DED, La. Those poor old men. Getting multiple slaps in the face with wet noodles. The imagery is...um....what's the word? How about hysterical...guffaw-inducing, choke on my tea, tears in my eyes funny. So much so, in fact, that when my assistant just came into my office, she asked if I was alright. And why my eyes were all watery and I was coughing. I told her it was allergies.

    And then, as if you hadn't made enough of a spectacle of yourselves, the birthday boy tops that with a gratuitous show of affection in public? At the elevators yet again? The only thing that could've made that better would've been for the doors to open with the same old guys in the elevator to witness it behind door number 2. On their way to get their toupees readjusted.

    Now the important stuff. Food. That photo of the mushroom filet is killing me, even this early in the morning. We tried to get Le Cell for our lil weekend getaway in a couple of weeks, but couldn't get it. Even though I called 180 days out at 7 in the morning. So we are going to Yachtsmen instead, which will be fine, even without the pretzel bread. I think maybe I'll grab the hubby and take a ride on the elevators while we're there. Maybe even engage in a little PDA of our own. Just for the fun of it. And because we won't have any wet pool noodles on hand.

  2. La said: On our walk toward the elevators, we noticed (again) that we seemed to be the only ones around.

    Gee, I wonder why that was? Could it be that the gentleman with the toupee askew warned everyone to steer clear when your crew was on the move, lest they be bopped with a wet noodle (and not in a good way)? All of this, of course, ignores the fact that you were carrying noodles in the first place. In the Yacht Club. The mind boggles. Tell me -- did you take your own plates and cutlery to dinner with you too? You know -- just in case they didn't have any or ran out?

  3. Lala wrote, "Thankfully, the ride up was swift and smooth and as we arrived at our floor,"

    But ZZUB read, "thankfully, the ride up was swift and smooth just like a number four."

    And I thought, "what?!" Who needs to read that??!!

    I can't believe they even let your kind in the Yacht Club. But that you walked through the lobby with wet noodles confirms every suspicion I ever had about you. Pure, full on white trash. Ever heard of a side door? Look who I'm talking to. Of course you have.

    Did Mr. LaLa really tell them to scare you up a table? If he did, that is the FUNNIEST thing I've read today. DED! Man, I miss the south.

    FYI: LeCellier is only going signature at dinner. You can continue to eat there for one credit at lunch although one imagines the menu will not be as fancy schmancy at lunch. I confess, I don't get the LeCel love affair most people have. There are so many better places in Disney World.

    But at least you didn't eat at Coral Reef. Only yahoos and NMs eat there.

    I'm with Ashclan, the LaLas are to elevators what the Obamas are to snooty, condescending liberals. Y'all just can't get near a lift without trouble breaking out. Although I don't recall the exact details of the Garden Grill elevator/ECV incident, I did rememmber there WAS an incident. As I walked out of the men's room, past the elevator, two ECVs were headed in and thought to myself, this has LaLa written all over it.

    And then I died a little more inside.


  4. Oh my sweet merciful giblets! I have not had a gut rending, chair shaking, I can’t breath and I might die, strain every muscle fiber in my body so as not to explode into raucous bellowing, tears in the eye fit of laughter like that in a LONG time. That was AWESOME! I had to stop reading so I could leave the production floor and go split a rib in the break room. Even now, I still crack up just picturing it.

    Oooooooweee that was a hoot.

    Okay….settling down…trying to anyway.

    Le Cellier looked fantastic. If it goes Signature, that would do me in. I would NOT burn 2 TS credits there. But it was SO very good when we were there last. My stomach tried to digest itself just looking at that filet.

    Well, gonna shove off to Taco Bell now. I have no doubt that I shall sit and stare in sad longing at my woefully inadequate burrito.

    Thank you for that.

    But at least I’m still snickering so I guess that balances out.

    Great job LaLa!


    It was like something from the Three Stooges."

    LA!!!! I am with the rest of the folks here. That was HYSTERICALLY funny! Not only is the incident itself good material, your writing is - bar none - the best descriptive writing I've ever read. I can picture it perfectly in my mind, and would be able to even if I hadn't met your sweet family.

    Good show.

    Who says "good show", anyway? Some jolly good dorks, that's for sure.

    Oh, there is so much more I could comment on. Your crazy man and his birthday antics. Both at the elevators and at the Le Cell hostess stand. The Elevator Game - we SOOO play that, but with no gifts. The bus back to the Pop Cen'treh where you belong. ALL good stuff.

    And you know the NMs are one of those families who are lookin' good as we come off the pool scene. Because we haven't been doing anything fun. Nothing fun at all. Just sitting and looking pretty and getting a tan. All while keeping our hair dry and perfect. We are that family you envy.

    Or not.

    Or REALLY not.

    In fact, we probably make Y'ALL look like that family.

    Great installment, La. The pics of the filet at Le Cell look delicious. And I don't know who ZZUB is kidding. He eats at Electric Umbrella for the refillable drinks. What does he know about a decent meal?

  6. La - girl you brought it. It's official.... I'm going to call you butter!!! Fancy butter at that!

    Reading about your trek from the pool through the lobby reminded me of just how icky I felt doing the same at the BC.... and the Contemp, because we had to hit the food court in our chlorine clean state with my mascara smeared from ear to ear. Just thinking about my little Frick carrying noodles through a fancy lobby makes my pits sweat. The fact that you brought your own noodles makes my pits sweat too. Girl you got game. And you pack a big haul fo sho.

    We also play the elevator game. Happens every dang time there is more than one elevator. It's pretty fun and it sounds like you got a very nice reward for winning!

    Love the Le Cell table decoration and glad you all had some birthday goodness there. Let's hope you all held it down and the night doesn't end with puke.

    Can you believe Zzub held back the comment that he thinks the place is a glorified Steak and Ale? I'm shocked it didn't come out.

    Thanks for the giggles La2!


    It was like something from the Three Stooges"

    "I believe we may have even knocked a toupe loose."

    Possibly, the funniest trip report moment I've read in a long time.
    I'm totally enjoying the ride on this one.

  8. Mr. Probably Wears a Toupe Too said:

    Tell me -- did you take your own plates and cutlery to dinner with you too?

    Silly Chappie. Of course we didn't take our own plates and cutlery to dinner with us. Pfff.

    But we sho nuff left with some!

    And YES, we brought our own noodles! To the Yacht Club! It may be a little white trash (can we say white trash here?!) but we are WAY past the point of caring. I downright refuse to pay to rent a tube each time we want to float around the lazy river. And I knew we'd be there A LOT. So we loaded the van down with 'em. Which KILLS me still. Because at the time that I slipped them in the back of the van, all sneaky like, DH still didn't know we would be heading to SAB and making use of them at the lazy river. When he caught me, he threw them out on the ground and called me a dork. With his mouth.

    He wasn't calling me that as he pushed the kids off theirs and stuffed three behind his head at one time and then shoved the last one under his knees. Then kicked back on his red and blue floating pretzel. Like the king of the world.

    Nope, he wasn't calling me that at all. In fact, he may have been yelling, "GOOD SHOW!!!" at the top of his lungs.

    And meaning it.

    So the noodle lobby spectacle (and any resulting assault with a soggy weapon charges) were all WELL WORTH IT. And I'd do it all over again. In a heartbeat.

    Only this time we might let DH carry the noodles.

    Thanks for all of your comments. I really appreciate yall taking the time to read about our trip and leaving your funny and encouraging comments. I love signing on here and reading all of them. So thanks!

    As I was writing, DH and I cracked up A BUNCH just remembering everything. I'm still laughing at the look on those poor sapsuckers' faces. It's almost as funny as the memory of the EVC Elevator Incident at Garden Grill. Good memory, Ash! (you get the prize...at DH's sole discretion, of course!) And the Menudo Elevator Incident at AKL. What IS it with us and elevators? Wish I knew.

    Ash, I am SO JEALOUS of you right now! I wish I had a trip in the hopper so I could make ADRs. Even if Le Cellier is completely booked. Which is crazy, considering you're 180 days out still. Keep trying though. Something will probably open up.

    Z said: Ever heard of a side door? Look who I'm talking to. Of course you have.

    Zip it, clown.

    Actually, we discovered the side door (the one that took us around the front of the resort and led to an entrance right by the elevator, COMPLETELY bypassing the lobby) the day before we left. Could've saved us a lot of pain had we found it sooner. But then again, what fun would that have been?

    Thanks for the word on Le Cellier. I hate to hear that it's changing over for dinner. We've never been big on eating there for lunch. That's what Biergarten is for.

    GB: I hope you at least got a STEAK burrito today.

    NM: Whatever, sista. Even though yall spend the entire time you're at the pool invadin' everybody's personal space and knocking other guests' teeth out with an ACTUAL BASEBALL (like I believe for one second Roger's playing baseball with a tennis ball), I have no doubt in my mind that yall walk through that lobby with it all together. You are Parenting magazine's Mother of the Year. Straight off the July cover. And I strongly dislike you for that.

    And by 'strongly dislike', I mean 'love'.

    Frick: Mr. LaLa asked me why on earth you said I was butter and when I told him, he laughed for ten minutes straight. Just thought I'd let you know he thinks you're really funny. And he hasn't even seen the ham picture yet.

  9. I am reading and that was hilarious but once again...I got nothin'!!! This workin' thing is really crampin' my bloggin' style. Yo!

    p.s. do you think I can turn this economy cut pot roast on my dining room table into that fillet?

    Just sayin'...

  10. You don't have to have much to say, Mariette. Just glad to know you're here. Your butt better stick around and have some fun with us, too. Work or no work. I miss you and your crazy funny comments.

    Speaking of which, where the heck is Mel?!!!!

    Mailing ZZUB a huge wheel of brie? From last year's Festivus for the Rest of Us?

    As far as the pot roast goes, you drown it in enough cooking sherry, you can turn that baby into ANYTHING you want it to be, woman.

    At least that's what NM says.

  11. So does anyone else want to add the word "Marie" every time they talk about Tropical Storm Nicole? Or is that just me?

    Mariette (still DED), the fact that you have a pot roast cooked for dinner on a work night is impressive enough for me. Well, it would be except I'm willing to bet it was Mr. Mariette who cooked it ; )

    Of course, we had Outback take out last night, so I guess I'm in no position to criticize.....

  12. What a crack up! NOODLE!! Love it ;-)
    I am off to World, hold the funny 'til I get back. Ok, maybe not. I'll catch up. Eventually.

  13. Fun with elevators= running with scissors.

  14. Running w/ Scissors?!!!


  15. “Some families come from the pool looking as though they’ve just stepped off Parenting magazine’s July issue cover shoot. They're dry, they carry nothing in their hands, and not one hair is out of place. I hate those people. And by ‘hate‘, I mean ‘strongly dislike’. What I really mean is: I’ve never understood those people. In contrast, we’re messy, we’re hot, we’re wet, we’re sweaty, we’re louder than we probably should be, our bag is overpacked, (duh!) and so are our arms.”

    I have nothing to add – I’m just DED because you described it perfectly! Seriously, who ARE those perfect people who leave the pool looking great?! It sure isn’t my family.

    Know what else is pretty darned funny? Mr. Newfound Responsibility slapping the silly out of the Poupon Brothers with wet pool noodles. You just can’t make that stuff up!

    I’m glad Mr. La’s Bday dinner was good – I keep reading reviews about Le Cellier that are aaaallll over the place.

    LOVE the Epicot sunset pics!

    But… I’m more than a little frightened by that cliffhanger – “true adventure” you say? Uh-oh.

  16. Mariette said:

    Fun with elevators= running with scissors.

    I think the whole running with scissors things kinda cancels out the fun part. Especially if you're running with scissors ON an elevator.


    Just gave away the next installment.

    Steph, I assume by "WORLD" you mean Disney and not Wally. If so, CONGRATS! And...I'm completely jealous. Have a GREAT TIME!

    And if you meant Wally instead of Disney, pick up a round of filets for Mariette.

    And some bacon wrapped ones for ZZUB.

    V- glad you're enjoying the TR. And you're completely right: real life is funnier than fiction. At least around here it is.

    Tropical Storm Nicole Marie? What's in those clouds, Germ X?

  17. La! Tell Mr. LaLa that I think he is really funny too! In my mind that is, since I've never gotten to talk to him. But I can just imagine that he is funny, because you are funny, and funniness tends to run in pairs, and you wouldn't have married a big ol dud ( hi Zzub!)

    Mr. Frick and our oldest have headed to the Bama/Fla game. Lil Frick is decked out in his FL colors and hat, and Mr. Frick is decked out in bama colors from head to toe, with a coordinating Bama belt. Don't worry Bama fans, he is not going to break the mojo because he is wearing the hat and the shirt that he always wears when Bama wins. You know the whole game outcome hinges on his clothing choice.


  18. Dripping wet and carrying all of our pool crap (and extra towels we swiped from the pool area) as others are mingling around the lobby, dressed for dinner.

    DED!!! We felt so incredibly awkward walking back to our room after pool time!

    Our kids, who were looking on with disgust, however....did not appreciate the gesture! Even though they both giggled AFTER they finished telling us how wrong that was. And how gross we were.

    Yeah, our kids supposedly hate when we get all kissy kissy in front of them. But I think they secretly LOVE it! LOL

    This would be the first time we would ever walk to Epcot from our resort (!!!) and we enjoyed it immensely. On the way over. Not so much later that night on the way back.

    Uh oh...

  19. Denise said:

    DED!!! We felt so incredibly awkward walking back to our room after pool time!

    Glad to know we're not the ONLY ones!

    Frick, congrats on the win! I bet that was a fun one to witness first hand. I'm sure Mr. Frick enjoyed it, Lil Frick not so much.