Sunday, October 3, 2010

Doing the Hustle

by: Great Biscuit

Day two of our adventures dawned and I found myself up a bit earlier than I had anticipated. (I shall spare you the details, but suffice it to say that I suggest AGAINST eating a large Italian meal at nine o’clock at night after spending an afternoon walking in the heat.) We were headed to Six Flags Fiesta Texas and the park opened at 10. Our motel was only 4 miles away and seeing as how this wasn’t a Disney park, there were no rope drop concerns to factor into our departure time.


Once I was back to my usual self, I quietly got dressed and headed down to the lobby. If there is a benefit that I enjoy the most about a non Disney vacation, a free continental breakfast certainly ranks high on the list. After loading up on some bacon and biscuits and gravy, it was time to sit and do some people watching.

As I sat and reflected on our trip, the thought occurred to me that it was exactly a year and a week since I had been sitting in Everything Pop following a similar bout of digestive instability. Only in this case there was nothing photo worthy to go out and take pictures of. Nana and Papa Biscuit joined me after a few minutes and we planned out the rest of the day.

Nana needed more sunscreen so we got the location of a Target store from the desk clerk. I then grabbed the girls some breakfast and headed back the room to pack up. The girls were up when I arrived and while they ate, I set about gathering up all our junk and getting it packed away.

Because we are the Biscuits, it took a few min longer than anticipated to get out the door. The clock was showing five minutes till ten when we made it down to the cars. Luckily the Target store was on the way and we found it with minimal difficulty. Finding the sunscreen within said Target proved to be bit more problematic so our five minute stop turned into fifteen. Eventually though, we were back on the road and we made it to Six Flags about 20 min after they opened. Turns out, we need not have worried about missing the opening as the parking lot was practically deserted. We wound up parking near the gate and passed through an empty entrance plaza to enter the park.

I’ve been to this park a handful of times and my mom has been there literally dozens of times as a youth sponsor. Neither of us had EVER seen the park this empty. It was, in a word, fantastic.







For those of your unfamiliar with this park, allow me a moment to set the scene. The park itself is built inside an abandoned rock quarry. The park itself is roughly horseshoe shaped and is surrounded on three sides by sheer rock cliffs. Many of the coasters in the park take advantage of this, as do many of the water slides in the water park.

Here’s a birds-eye overview from atop the Ferris Wheel.  (The "street" at the lower left is actually inside the park and part of the design of that area.)



The park’s design is not only cool looking, but it effectively isolates you from the hustle and bustle of the surrounding city. Unlike many of the other Six Flags parks I’ve been in, you can’t see an interstate or shopping malls or cheap hotels from inside the park.

Which is nice.

And is a feature which bears resemblance to another favorite park of mine.

That is until they build a massive resort right behind Space Mountain.

Not to be a hater.

I’m just saying.

Our first order of bid’ness was to head over to the “you think you’re driving, but you’re really not” miniature cars.



It was a walk on.

While the girls went puttering around the track, I perched on a bridge and took their photos as they rolled past. At some point along the way, the girls spotted the The Hustler and it was ON!



Now I have to say, The Hustler is an evil ride. Pure nasty funkiness. The concept is identical to the tea cups, except they aren’t cups, they are giant pool balls. Which spin you unmercifully until your innards attempt to exit your body.

Evil.

I was somehow elected to ride with the girls.

Joy.

The line for this one was a walk on as well.

So we walked on. And I got the girls buckled. And I took their pictures. Then I walked off.

That’s right; I left the girls to face the horror of the billiards alone.

Remember that continental breakfast I was singing the praises of a while back? I figured the girls would prefer not to have it displayed for them. And I knew beyond any doubt that if I parked my ample belly inside a giant billiard orb of evil, that there would be fahrvergnügen in the corner pocket.

Besides which, they were the only two on the entire ride so I didn’t have to worry about them disappearing in the crowd.

While they were riding and waving at Nana, Papa and First Lady Biscuit, I poked my head around the corner and shot a few more pics.


(Theater housing a 1950's Rock 'N Roll Stage Show.)



(Restaurants and shops in the 1950's Americana area.)

The girls soon emerged with nothing but smiles and we headed over towards the boardwalk area to discover a plethora of lineless attractions.

We were LOVING us some Six Flags Fiesta Texas!

12 comments:

  1. Wow, that park really is empty! Must have been so nice that your girls could just walk on to any ride they wanted so far!

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  2. "And I knew beyond any doubt that if I parked my ample belly inside a giant billiard orb of evil, that there would be fahrvergnügen in the corner pocket."

    DED! That there is a really funny sentence, Great Biscuit!

    What a fun way to start my Monday morning. LOVED this installment. Y'all really did have the place to yourselves, didn't you? Wow. I never saw a single other person. Anywhere.

    Are you sure it was open?

    Keep it coming, GB.

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  3. Hey Denise. It was a ghost town in there. Which TOTALLY ROCKED.

    Whassup NM? It was open, but blissfully uncrowded. It was a bit surreal.

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  4. BORG NM. I was thinking the same thing. Was this a Vacation moment, where GB Griswold snuck his way into a closed park and the police/security peeps will be showing up in the next installment?!

    That is one funky looking park, too, GB. I love the abandoned stone quarry setting. Although I'm sure it's no Magic Kingdom, it looks pretty cool, if a bit aged.

    Good call on the billiards. The teacups are bad enough, but at least they are open to the fresh air. Those enclosed globes of sickness look way too ominous for me! NOTE TO LALA: Don't ever let your family on that ride. Fanny pack or no, it scares me to imagine the results.

    Sounds like your girls were on their way to tons of fun, GB!

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  5. Ash said:

    NOTE TO LALA: Don't ever let your family on that ride. Fanny pack or no, it scares me to imagine the results.

    Don't worry, I wasn't planning on it. With our track record, how dumb would I have to be to contemplate takin' a ride on the HURLER?!

    Which is what they should've named it. Either that or The Barf Bag. Either one looks like it'll work.

    I can't get over how dead the place was, GB! Like Ash, I envisioned you as Clark Griswold, driving halfway across the country to a closed Wally World, breaking in, and having your way with the rides until the cops showed up. Glad to know that wasn't the case. And that you're still a free man.

    For now.

    Heh Heh.

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  6. Hey AC! SFFT definitely has it's own unique look. A lot of the coasters have portions built up on the wall and down in the canyon. Makes for some nifty drops.

    DED on Clark Griswold!

    Hey Lala! I knew better than to get into that device. A fellow's got to know his limitations.

    If by free you mean work release, then yeah...I'm free.

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  7. Hi Great Biscuit. I'm a mostly lurker, post every once in a while (loonieroonie on the disboards). Just wanted to say I'm enjoying your trip report, and thank you for pointing me over here. I love that Zzub is back, and that I can read Lala and NicoleMarie's reports as well. Also, I'm still reading your Disney trip report. I work a part time job at night and most nights my work phone doesn't ring, so I use that time wisely and read your trip report. It's really good.

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  8. THIS is disturbing! You put your kids on a ride named for a smutty porn mag?! You didn't say whether the ride attendants were seated in wheelchairs and spitting as Larry Flint is known to do when he talks. If I was walking through an amusement park and side a ride called, "the Hustler," I'd cover my kids eyes and beat cleats the opposite direction.

    But that's me.

    I love my kids.

    Now then, how cool that y'all basically got the park to yourselves. The place actually looks pretty amazing.

    RE: free breakfast. Did they have the waffle deal? I LOVE those waffles. Frankly, I love almost all breakfast foods. Except I can't get next to biscuits and gravy. Don't understand it at all.

    So what you're saying is that after a long day in the Texas hot, your late night meal had a deliterious effect upon you? Do tell.

    Z

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  9. Great report, cool setting for a Six Flags! Almost makes me want to go there... but I'm still trying to recover from a Six Flags trip 9 years ago where I got stuck on a roller coaster going up a hill, carnies were running the kiddie rides, and a bird crapped on my son's turkey leg. Yeah, fun times.

    Embassy Suites rocks the free breakfast world...is that where you were staying? Not so keen on the waffle makers, had an incident with one in Chicago that resulted in a big mess and embarrassed kids. Apparently I can cook but I can't pour batter into a waffle maker and flip it without an overflow.

    Great report, great pictures, looking forward to more!

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  10. Z said to GB "So what you're saying is that after a long day in the Texas hot, your late night meal had a deliterious effect upon you? Do tell."

    Um, you are gross. GB, how about you send that bit of juicy (no pun intended) information to him in a PM or email. Please.

    Moving on.

    GB, we have officially given up Six Flags over GA. Did you see the Scream Machine under water when we had the floods here? There is no way I'm getting on a coaster that soaked in swamp water for a really long time. It has to be all rusted up and crickety.

    But I do love the mind bender.

    Six Flags is home to many memories for me, but it has always been second to WDW. I had a birthday party there, I would go with our youth group or go with a friend...and I would always succumb to the peer pressure to ride the rides that JoMomma (my mom) deemed way too dangerous for me so therefore I was a basketcase.

    Your Six Flags there in Texas looks mighty nice! Can't wait to hear about the rest of the day and see more of the park!

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  11. LoonieRoonie said...
    “Hi Great Biscuit. I'm a mostly lurker, post every once in a while (loonieroonie on the disboards). Just wanted to say I'm enjoying your trip report, and thank you for pointing me over here. I love that Zzub is back, and that I can read Lala and NicoleMarie's reports as well. Also, I'm still reading your Disney trip report. I work a part time job at night and most nights my work phone doesn't ring, so I use that time wisely and read your trip report. It's really good."


    Howdy and welcome! Thank you so much for reading along both here and on the DIS! I hear you on those late night hours. Waiting on the phone to ring can get mighty dull.


    ZZUB said...
    “THIS is disturbing! You put your kids on a ride named for a smutty porn mag?! You didn't say whether the ride attendants were seated in wheelchairs and spitting as Larry Flint is known to do when he talks. If I was walking through an amusement park and side a ride called, "the Hustler," I'd cover my kids eyes and beat cleats the opposite direction.

    But that's me.

    I love my kids.”


    I knew two things when I wrote this chapter. 1. Someone would invoke Larry Flint. 2. That his name would be Zzub.

    Z said “Now then, how cool that y'all basically got the park to yourselves. The place actually looks pretty amazing.


    RE: free breakfast. Did they have the waffle deal? I LOVE those waffles. Frankly, I love almost all breakfast foods. Except I can't get next to biscuits and gravy. Don't understand it at all.”


    Having the park be that empty totally rocked. Of all the non Disney parks I’ve been to, Fiesta Texas is by far my favorite. As to the Comfort Suites, yes, they did indeed have the waffle cooker doohickey. And how is it that you can espouse to be a southerner and yet fail to understand biscuit’s and gravy?

    Z - “So what you're saying is that after a long day in the Texas hot, your late night meal had a deliterious effect upon you? Do tell.”

    There were scattered early morning thunderstorms with occasional gusty winds which prevailed throughout the day.


    motherofboys said...
    “Great report, cool setting for a Six Flags! Almost makes me want to go there... but I'm still trying to recover from a Six Flags trip 9 years ago where I got stuck on a roller coaster going up a hill, carnies were running the kiddie rides, and a bird crapped on my son's turkey leg. Yeah, fun times.”


    That sounds like quite the trip!

    motherofboys said...
    “Embassy Suites rocks the free breakfast world...is that where you were staying? Not so keen on the waffle makers, had an incident with one in Chicago that resulted in a big mess and embarrassed kids. Apparently I can cook but I can't pour batter into a waffle maker and flip it without an overflow.

    Great report, great pictures, looking forward to more!"


    We were at the Comfort Suites…which I guess is like a redneck Embassy Suites. SFFT is a great park. I really like the whole “canyon” setting. They even came up with a backstory that goes along with the park and it’s western themed area Crackaxle Canyon.

    Frickles said...

    GB, we have officially given up Six Flags over GA. Did you see the Scream Machine under water when we had the floods here? There is no way I'm getting on a coaster that soaked in swamp water for a really long time. It has to be all rusted up and crickety."


    I have now. I don’t know if I’d trust that coaster again either.

    More Frick...
    "Your Six Flags there in Texas looks mighty nice! Can't wait to hear about the rest of the day and see more of the park"


    I much prefer the one on San Antonio to the one in Dallas. And the one in Houston was even more patheti. Then they turned it into a pile of dirt.

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