Tuesday, April 7, 2009

That About Does It

Paper is for wimps. I write in my head. Then I spill it out onto my keyboard. And yes, I used that phrase advisedly. In my spare moments, I'll draft a few words in my head. Sound them out. See if there's anything there.

But in the last several weeks, as I've tried to put together something interesting for this blog, I've been stymied. And now I've concluded that the hunch I've had for awhile is true. It's not that I've run out of things to say. Heck, I imagine I'd have to be in a coma a good 25, 30 minutes before I run out of things to say. It's that I've run out of things for ZZUB to say. Which isn't to imply that ZZUB is any different than me. I am pretty much who you imagine I am: sarcastic, introspective, lover of God, family, football and food. Conservative, argumentative, Bama fan, Disney man. Still easily amused by flatulence and all things scatological. I love to make people laugh and think more deeply about their faith. I like connecting dots. Mostly, I love me some cake.

Writing as ZZUB for six years now has allowed me a venue, an opportunity to put nouns and verbs together in sentences which didn't put me to sleep. I wrote the kind of stuff I wanted to read and I was always amazed that there were other people who wanted to read the same stuff. I remain intrigued by this idea that no matter who we were, how disparate our political or cultural viewpoints, we could put that aside when we talked about Disney World.

The only real difference between me and my pseudonymous alter-ego? I was more free as ZZUB to write about the things that embarrass me and I don't freely admit: my nerdy love of planning things out, the 35 year long crush on the Contemporary Resort, how much I think about vacation and the other embarrassing details I've peppered my Trip Reports with. A raging Number 4 and the bathroom in EPCOT which has never fully recovered from my visit there. In my buttoned down world, I don't think my clients and colleagues would have much respect for that combination of Disney nerd meets flatulent cake-obsessed moron.
Although I assure you that anyone who knows me well in real life knows all those things.
About a year ago, as I was wrapping up the Battle For My Wallet V, I sensed I had come to the end of the Battle series and writing as ZZUB. I sensed I had written all I needed to write about our vacations to Disney World. Hard to say what prompted me to undertake this last Trip Report which wasn't a Trip Report. I'm not sorry I wrote it, though. In more ways than I first imagined, it closed the loop. If the story ended with Battle V, then this last one was the epilogue.
Like anyone needed one of those.
But the epilogue of sorts is finished and while I have more to say, I don't reckon I have more to say as ZZUB. I think I'm done writing stuff anonymously. To the extent I write any further, it'll be under my real name. Which isn't to say you should look for a book or magazine article or even a message board poster who boasts, "Formerly known as ZZUB."
Anyway, I wasn't sure what the protocol is here. While I don't know any of you, I "know" many of you and have shared a lot of laughs and hard days with you. If I just stopped updating this blog and eventually took it down, I was afraid that would be odd. (Hi Mel!). And also, I wanted the chance to say goodbye to people who rallied to my Trip Report in March 2006 when the first lock down took place. To people who met up in the "coffee shop" (or was it the spice shop?) and chatted. Although Napoleon Dynamite makes me laugh until I scream, NOTHING will ever compare with that late June afternoon when a picture was shared and a big spoon prompted screams of laughter that filled my empty office and drove home with me that night. I confess, I kind of miss that sometimes. It was funny and it was fun. I will never hear the phrase "mad love," and not think of Sher and her offer to make love to everyone. I still blush remembering that. I can't pass a coat rack without wondering why LaLa would use her boss as one. (Her explanation never made a lick of sense, which is consistent with most of what she wrote). Watching West Wing reminds me of Ashclan and Brandt and New England Eeyore. Actually, any screaming left-wing nutty I encounter reminds me of Ashclan. Only, I think she's brighter than the average loon. In other words, I'm convinced she's really a conservative trapped in a liberal state of mind.

Master Gracie posted some of the funniest stuff when he would breeze in. His thread on the community board blaming everything on George W. Bush is still one of the most hilarious things I've read. One day, during one of the many sieges on Mel's many un-finished Trip Reports, Mr. Silly stated, "first they came for the sarcasm," and that still makes me laugh. I try to find ways to work that into conversation. HaleyB was posting to my Trip Reports almost from the beginning. Java Mom was and is one of the coolest people to ever grace my Trip Reports/blog. The avatars she created back in the day rock. As does Shelby who created the DMVC Mug. A million years ago, NicoleMarie (if that's her real name) spent her time updating us on the weather and to this day, I don't know why. Mel HappyHat wrote the kinds of things polite people don't allow themselves to think let alone say. But she did it in the most disarming way. Frickles could always be counted on for certain amusement (and a misguided ham posting). Which is ironic given her math challenges. Pongo had an odd little dog she liked to talk about. Grammy was one of the most consistently funny people. I still laugh when I think about her first hip replacement. YAK was another very loyal poster who continued to encourage me. Plus, I liked to say "Yak" in my head. During one afternoon in the coffee/spice shop (which is it?) GaCat and I tried to figure out what legal recourse, if any, we had as a siege continued against our otherwise innocuous band of Maelstromers.
Which, I proudly assert, fastpass or not, I have not ridden it in the last 3 trips to EPCOT.

In addition to the Maelstromers, in recent years, some new friends have come along which have made me laugh. Idaho Universal Fan was one of the most prolific posters on the Trip Reports Board. I sure miss reading his Trip Reports and his long narratives about food. The fact that he's on global ignore still makes me laugh. For the obvious reasons. Although I've never met Sneezie and have no clue what her real name is, she wrote some of the funniest things. Mrs. Z still quotes her, "cake is the reason my dog has a birthday party every year." Mrs. The King is one of the few women I've "known" who admit how much they enjoy a good fart. That makes her good people in my book. GreatBiscuit has a flaky, buttery screen name, but he took up for me when my Trip Report got moved, locked and then unlocked and moved again. He's good people, too. Stinkerbellarella could always be counted on for an amusing post. Tarsanskat was also a loyal reader who always let me know she was enjoying what I wrote. DJR is proof that sometimes blue staters live in a red state and vice versa. Also, DJR is proof that politics can be put aside if people really want to.

I know there are others, and I mean no offense if I've failed to mention you by name. I'm lucky if I can remember whether it was Eric Clapton or the Kinks who sang Layla. Clapton, right?

Thanks again for the time you all invested reading what fell out of my head. And thank you for making me laugh until I screamed.