Tuesday, May 11, 2010

A New Day

America is a wonderful place.  In America, clearly unqualified people can rise to positions of power (Hello: Eleana Kagan, I'm looking right at ya') and come close to finding themselves on the Supreme Court.  God forbid a million times (admit it, you've missed that).

In America, a college football team can resurrect itself after 17 years of wandering in the desert and claim the National Championship after vanquishing that great pretender, the University of Florida in the BEST FOOTBALL GAME EVER PLAYED.  A game so intense, mind you, that it sent Urban Meyer to the hospital with heart palpitations.  Thus causing Bama fans nationwide to experience schadenmeyerfreude.

In America, a man can be elected president on the basis of his so-called charm and a fawning media who abjectly refused to acknowledge any of his weaknesses and liabilities. He can sweep into office with stratospheric approval ratings and then watch them come crashing down in record time.

In America, it must really disturb the majority party that their man had lower approval ratings than the devil himself, George W. Bush, at the same point in his presidency (pre- 9/11, after which his ratings soared until the ill-advised decision to invade Iraq).  It is unfathomable that a man the media claimed "stole" the election, a man who couldn't pronounce the word "nuclear," (or many other polysyllabic words for that matter) somehow managed higher approval ratings in the first 8 months of his term than the man Keith Olberman has a seething man-crush on.

In America, a man like Al Gore can make untold millions of dollars claiming the sky is falling all the while hoping no one notices that he's making untold millions of dollars by creating fear of the falling sky. It's precious how Mr. Gore lectures us that if we deny anthropogenic global warming exists, we are denying science.   This is especially curious in the face of the growing body of evidence that suggests scientists themselves have been cooking the books and eschewing scientific principles in favor of a desired result.

Good night nurse, I've gone numb!

In America, the annoyingly perky and surprisingly superficial former governor from the state of Alaska can attempt to keep herself relevant by posting daily to Facebook.  Can it be that not all evangelical Christians think Sarah Palin would be good for America?  You betcha!

In America, people are still arguing on message boards over whether you can use your refillable mugs at Disney resort hotels. 

In America, Chris Rock can make fun of how dumb George W. Bush allegedly is. Even though Chris Rock can't pronounce the word, "ask."

In America, Lindsay Lohan can play a porn star in an upcoming movie.  Making many people question why that was news.  Or even new.

Yes, for all its faults, America is still a great country.

Waaaaaaaaay  better than Canada!  I hear the bathrooms there smell exceptionally bad.

That's a brief snapshot of what's gone on in the last year.

I'm back for a spell.  If you're interested.  The ZZUBs are headed to WDW this summer. Chances are there'll be a trip report posted here when it's all done.  Chances are it'll last for several months.  Until then, I'm likely to spill out several blog posts about everything and nothing.  Also, we haven't been to WDW in two years and so I'm going to need some input from my Disney peeps.

That is, if we can pull them away from the Cartographers for Social Equality meetings.


  1. Am I the only one who's hearing Neil Diamond in the background as I read this?

    Look, I'm glad that you're back "for a spell" and all (and by "spell", I assume you mean "cake") but if I'm going to be hanging out here again, you're gonna need to do a little bit better than Neil Diamond. What I mean by that is this: you should get to work on some Disney music. For this place.

    Like... yesterday.

    A little Air Battle would be nice. Along with Wishes. Throw in some parade music and a few other selections of choice and it might be a nice place to be again.

    Just steer clear of that infernal Phineus and Ferb song.

    I'm glad you're back, and I'm really looking forward to reading yet another ZZUB trip report. You don't have an ADR for Teppan Edo, do you? Because that might make me deviate from the prevalent line of thinking.

    Bring it, ZZUB.

    FHOAM Forever...

    Mississippi Girl

  2. ZZuubb is back!!! Bring on the reports!!

  3. I so enjoy reading your musings Zzub. They put a smile on my face today--a day that was sending me over the edge, at work, at just 1145am.

    So glad y'all are heading back to the World. We were there in late April and very surprised by how crowded the parks were. But we still had a great time celebrating my "milestone" birthday.

    Enjoy the cartographers meeting and don't forget about the Wolf Highway for Pluie!

  4. I don't have a problem building a highway for the wolves. It's the discrimination that bothers me.

  5. Hey there ZZUB!!!!

    It's great to hear that you and your family are heading back to Disney in the summer. It just so happens that we happyhaunts are ALSO heading back there this summer too!!! And I'm getting pretty jazzed about it so I'd be more than happy to give you a few tips for your trip.

    Here we GOOOOOOO...

    Tip #1: Maelstrom. Still a Fastpass.

    Tip #2: Don't use the bathrooms in Canada at EPCOT. Ever. That's what France is for.

    Tip #3: Do not be so bragalicious about your American political problems. Google-ize Helena Guergis or Sandra Bussin.

    Tip #4: ADRs are 90 days in advance now. NOT 180!!! Do not check this. It is correct.

    Tip #5: Africa is, indeed, bigger than Greenland.

    Tip #6: Skinny jeans paired with a crop top is the go-to look for vacationing middle-aged men this season.

    Tip #7: Take the Magical Express.

    I dare you.

    Tip #8: Buses run BETWEEN resorts now. But NOT between parks.

    Tip #8: The big draw at the MK these days is the Swiss Family Treehouse. At ropedrop everyone does the Swiss Dash. By that I mean everyone saunters into the park at a comfortable pace moving in the general direction of Adventureland. Without appearing to be moving towards or preferring Adventureland. When one reaches the Swiss Family Treehouse one must look around, look at the treehouse and then shrug before entering. You can win this one. At ropedrop be in the front of the line. Chant "SWISS FAMILY TREEHOUSE! SWISS FAMILY TREEHOUSE!!!!" over and over again. Very loudly. At ropedrop take off like your pants are on fire heading to Adventureland. When you reach the treehouse run up all eleventeen flights of stairs to the top because there is a magical prize for the first balding but not yet bald man who reaches the summit and screams at the top of his lungs "I'm TEAM EDWARD!!!!".

    Good luck!

    Tip #21: I'm not sure which ride you'd prefer on a full stomach but I'd go with either Tower of Terror or Mission Space Big Boy Version.

    Tip #23: When typing in a tiny tiny box try to remember which # tip you're on.

    Tip #24: You are Pooh-sized. As such, you should announce this to the CM at the beginning of every ride and then ask if there is a special, faster line for Pooh-sized persons.

    Tip #25: There is a special, faster line for Pooh-sized persons.

    Tip #26: The Earl of Sandwich is now called The Viscount of Sandwich. There were some financial problems.

    Tip #27: There is a mock rollercoaster seat outside E.E. at Animal Kingdom. This is not for Pooh-sized persons such as yourself to see if they can fit comfortably inside the coaster before they decide to ride. It is actually the new Kidcot Station. You should hang out there for awhile, maybe do Picnic in the Park there. Make some crafts and decorate the seat. If Pooh-sized persons try to bother you just tell them that you're enjoying yourself right now and to wait patiently for their turn.

    You could nap if you want.

    Tip #2: Re-hydrating is for Democrats.

    Tip #3: Stick your knee, hard, between the guardrail posts on the MK Railroad Platform.

    Tip #4: Eat at The Wave.

    Tip #5: Being that it's summer wear mostly rough, handmade, woolen clothing.

    Tip #6: Make a phone call to Europe using your room phone and not your cell.

    Tip #7: Just 7 tips so far???? That's lame. I'll have to work on some more.

    Tip #8: Never googleimages "Camilla Parker Bowles". Ever.

    Tip #9: Wax your back before your trip. It will help with the heat. Also get your eyebrows waxed. That will help with the sweating. Trust Me(l).

    Tip #10: Get up at 5:30 am exactly 90 days (not 180!) before your trip. Make an ADR for the new table service restaurant inside the American Adventure Pavillion in Epcot. Don't take "NO" for an answer. It's very popular and the cast member is just being lazy by not helping you.

    Glad to help!!!!

    Cheers, Mel.

    P.S. Rolltide!

  6. Welcome back my friend! Your post gave me a much needed smile today. Loved the political rants. It wouldn't be a proper Zzub TR without them. I can't wait to hear about your upcoming journey and to read all of the little tidbits in between. I’ll do my part to spread the word to those back on the boards.

    And I see Mel made it over. Does this mean we can expect a 1/8th completed TR on the DIS? That would be awesome! I hope it involves lobbies which smell like meat.

  7. Is it possible Mel just posted the FUNNIEST COMMENT EVER to ZZUB's blog? Dang, girl...I sure did miss ya! Look me up on Facebook. If you can remember my name. ;)

    Well ZZUB, looks like you're bringing TRs back. And Mel, too. Honestly, I'm not sure which makes me happier. Would you be mad if I said Mel? Heh heh.

    I will be putting this ole blog in my favorites and looking forward to the day I see the first installment.

    We're headed to the World in the summer, too. Wanna meet up, ZZUB? Or what about you, Mel? We'll be there whatever weeks y'all AREN'T there. As far as you know.

    Looking forward to the funny. I'm getting all wolley.

  8. The LaLas are headed to the World this summer too! How 'bout we ALL meet up? We could call it something really weird like LaNZZUBMelFest and bum rush the Swiss Family Treehouse together.

    Or not.

    Seriously though. Who's Mel?

  9. No lie, that may have been the funniest thing I've read since I googled "visigoths." Good show, Mel. And you brought GB and NM back with you! Even better!

    Nothing like some random full on hilarity from my internet budds to prop up an otherwise stupid afternoon.

    Speaking of stupid, how dumb is La2? Even NM can remember her screename and password. And even if Sher couldn't remember hers either, she was quick thinking enough to post anonymously and then identify herself. Which means La2 is now the dumbest person I kind of know.

    Mel, 'preace the tips. I know now to do the opposite and we'll be good. Which DVC resort are you illegally cramming people into this year?


  10. Which means La2 is now the dumbest person I kind of know.

    6- Good thing my name isn't La2 or else I might be offended.

    3- This is coming from the man (did anyone ever verify that ZZUB is actually a man?) who mistakes Clapton for the Kinks, prefers Skynyrd to Faith Hill, and uses a bluetooth as a fashion statement?!


    PS. Turn it up...

  11. This is NM who is too lazy to sign in. Plus, I thought it might make La2 feel better if I signed on as "anonymous".

    I've got this place in my favorites now, and I just checked back in and read Mel's post again. It was even funnier this morning.

    The weather is warm and sunny here in Macon, and we're creeping up to what you'd call full on hot. But since the pool is nice and cool, we're handling it just fine. Bring on the humidity and warm weather. Two more days until school is out. (For me - my kids still have two weeks but we ain't talkin' about them.)

    Anywho, I was just checking in because I CAN.

    NM out.

    P.S. ZZUB, you misspelled one of the names in your post. I won't tell you which one, but I'll tell you that it's not Al. Or George.

    Don't you just hate when people mess up the spelling of a perfectly normal name to make it unique? I hate that.

  12. Did I say I missed you? I take it back. And who the heck is Eleana Kagan? Yes, NM, it's the first thing I noticed. That and the WW reference, of course. Oh, and I was happy to see that even though you are an elitist fascist (missed the deans list two semesters in a row) jackasp, that you can still through the haze to find that Alaska chick annoying. ; )

    Mel, OMG girl I HAVE missed you. You've been saving all that up for a year, haven't you? Writing down ZZUB Disney tips as you thought of them, hoping he'd come back and ask for advice. Some day, ask La and Melons to share some of their "pretend disney trip tips" with you. Really. You won't regret it.

    I am a bit giddy that Z, La, Mel and NM will all be in the World at right about the same time. What a hootenanny that could be! Someone please remember the videocamera. Or a tape recorder. Or a stenographer.

    On the other hand, I'm verklempt because my normal spring break trip was kaboshed by my teenagers and the maelstrom meet has been repositioned, which leaves me with just one piddly weekend birthday trip with the hubby on the semi-immediate horizon. What will I do with all my extra DVC points? Any takers?? If your pretend name begins with Z and you will wear my Barack the Vote t-shirt at least once into the American Adventure, I'll give you a REALLY good deal.

  13. BTW, that's "you can still SEE through the haze". I really hate this no edit thing.

  14. Wait. If I'm not mistaken, Frick is heading down to the World this summer, too. Have the stenographer bring a calculator.

  15. Ashclan! You paranoid, Berkeley, shiksa, feminista. I'm so glad to see that you dropped on by. Several times. Even if you do have an unusually large neck. Well, I don't think so, but given your Secret Service code name . . .

    And by the way, Suzie Creamcheese, it's kibosh, not kabosh. Stick with white bread words you're comfortable with: like regret, should-have-been-a-Republican, and Sen. Brown.

    You can admit now that you voted for him over that hideous Martha Coakley.

    Why are all liberal women in power insanely, insultingly ugly? Martha Coakley. Hillary Clinton. Patsy Shroeder. Debbie Stabenow. Justice Sotomayor. Justice Ginsburg. Kieth Olbernam. Ms. Kagan.

    BTW, I've seen her name spelled both ways. The true spelling of her name is a mystery. Like many other aspects of her life. Ahem. I think the proper spelling is H A R R I E T M I E R S.

    Just 8 minutes ago, I was sitting here preparing for a deposition. First question I intended to ask the witness, "What is the weather in Macon, GA this morning?" 2d question, "Can you tell me whether it's warm enough for the NMs to go swimming?" Now, my prep is completed and I won't need to ask those questions after all. In other words, WooFreakinHoo! NM is back!!!

    Even though I've closely protected my real name and everyone knows I'm a screaming conservative (literally, I DO scream about it), Ashclan's DVC offer it very tempting. And yes, I'd wear your Barack the Vote shirt. If for no other reason than to have the opportunity to mock every person who gave me a thumbs up. And ask them how much they regret voting for that naieve, arrogant turd blossom.

    If you know whose nickname that was, you'll find the epithet doubly insulting.


  16. Good grief, look at all of you bringing the funny! And if I were NM, that would've been "all y'all", TFI.

    No, I see there's no hour too early for your Noel Cowardesque wit, sir.


  17. Yo all!

    I gotta say it's great to see all of your stupid screen names again. Its been a long time! And I missed you all. To varying degrees. Heh heh.

    I laughed pretty hard about LaLa's inability to sign in properly. Along with her inability to find a good dentist. And just to revisit something briefly... I never, for one second, considered calling our dog Pumba. How stupid. I agree with ZZUB that she is the dumbest person I kind of know. I did, however, consider the name "Pumbaa_". And also:

    2. Linden
    3. CourtneyandRyan
    4. Bicker
    5. RustyScupper
    6. Obviously.

    What I mean by all the above is that I missed LaLa.

    And, also, the daily weather report which basically means...well... nothing to me living here in Canada. It does, however, anger me on occassion causing me to verbally assail the Environment Canada website.

    With bad bad pirate words.

    Well, anywho... ZZUB... for your TFI... the happyhaunts are booked to illegally cram into two DVC resorts this upcoming trip. I've requested a small, ground floor studio with dumpster view at the Villas of the Wilderness Lodge for one week. Followed by another week in an unrefurbished, parking lot view studio as far from the main lobby of the Beach Club Villas. As humanly possible.

    I figure we'll end up pretty darn pleased.

    Stormalong Bay should be plenty of fun.

    Except for Tommy.

    Who's not technically on the reservation. And won't have a KTTK card to get into the pool area with the rest of us.

    Heh heh.

    Don't worry. I'm just kidding. We've stayed at the BCVs before.

    Mellyman drops him over the fence.



    We're going for TWO WEEKS!!!! (again!!!! In cause you didn't do the math. NOFrick)


    Because Mellyman and I are celebrating our 20th Anniversary this summer. Yep. Well, not 20 years married. That's number 17. But... 20 years of being a couple together. Sinfully.

    I got Mellyman to agree to go for 2 weeks by promising that I would stop reminding him that we've been together for 20... TWENTY...2-10...the Big Five Times Four or the Big Forty minus Twenty years... TWEN-T-IE... years. Etc. You get my drift. Already.

    So...I added "Celebrating 20th Anniversary" to all our ADRs. All 58 of them.

    As a surprise.

    Plus I'm pretty jazzed because athough Calvin and I went to Disney in October '08 and then Tommy and I went again in October '09, we haven't all been together there as a family unit since May '08. So I'm bejazzelled.

    Last year our big family vacation was to Hilton Head Island. Yep... DVC resort. It was awesome and we all loved it. We're going back again for sure.

    I've got a few little tales of that trip that I'd like to share but I've gotta blast now because I have to get to Calvin's Track and Field meet. He's doing the 100m, 100m Relay, 400m and 400m Relay. He was originally supposed to run the 1500m as well but finally came to the wise decision that would be just waywaywaywayway too many events. For one person.

    After I explained it over and over again. For a week. About 12 times a day.

    And... then... gave up and finally suggested he try to pick up another event. Even if just as a sub.


    Later, Mel.


    P.S. "TURD BLOSSOM"!!!!!


  18. Mel wrote, "CourtneyandRyan"


  19. Zzub is back. {{{{clap clap}}}}

    Ash told us all to come here to read all the funny going on {{{{clap clap clap}}}}

    (sorry if anyone's lights turned on or off)

    Wow this is just like an episode of LOST. (Hi La!) It will only be complete if/when Danielle gets voted off. Old home week. High school reunion. Like old times. Snuggie.

    Anyway, Zzub really enjoyed your read above. Good to have you back. I love that you live on the left coast being far right and all. Your rantings/writing gives my right slanting brain a little nudge being surrounded by Obama-loving Socialist Canukians (Hi Mel)

    Speaking of which, I thought of Mel today while NM is lounging around her pool in 90F+ sunshine, Mel was in the 8C freezing rain watching Calvin run track.

    Life isn't fair.

    Nor is the weather in Canada.

    Or the bathrooms, so I hear.

    This tip made me DED

    Tip #3: Do not be so bragalicious about your American political problems. Google-ize Helena Guergis or Sandra Bussin.

    I'm probably the only other here that knows of this. Too funny Mel!

    I'll be on the look out again for the white/red/blue Van driving up and down the QEW.

    Can't wait for the summer TR's!

  20. Someone is going to use "bacon" as a verb before this whole thing is over. Count me in!


  21. This comment has been removed by the author.

  22. Someone is going to use "bacon" as verb before this is over. I'm STILL in!


    If the FD thing double posts, I blame it on blogger fogger. Yes, it's a real thing. I checked.

  23. If there's any justice in this world, then we'll not only use "bacon" as a verb...


    also "pork".


    Heh heh.


    NOZZUB and also NOTL.


    That's not what I meant to say. Hehheh.

    (It was literally served to me on a silver platter, tho.)



    I was wondering where you went. 'Cause I really miss'd the weather. Report. For this afternoon. It wasn't available and that mad me made. And then you were gone and I was said.

    I really don't have any idea what any of that means anymore.

    Well, Yak... it is the WORST WEATHER EVER... isn't it?

    It's almost 5 degrees C. (NOFrick) And raining like ZZUB sweats.

    Mellyman announced he needed a "slicker" to BBQ in.

    Which made me scream because I haven't heard the word "slicker" since 1950.

    Before I was born. (But not ZZUB, tfi.)

    I told him I'd get his wellingtons out for him, too. Because I'm nice like that. And I got thinking of William's Wish Wellingtons. Anyone ever watch that?

    But me?

    And then wonder: Why didn't William ever wish that it wasn't raining? So he didn't have to wear his damn wish wellingtons?

    Anywho... I'm out.

    Cheers, Mel.

    P.S. Where's La?

  24. When did we use bacon as a verb? How would that even work?

  25. I don't understand half the mess y'all just wrote.

    Add me to the summer hootenanny at Disney! I will be looking for you Zzub! You still plan on wearing big boy shorts, new solid white tennis shoes, calf high black socks, a lime green ribbon on your fanny pack and a shirt that says "I like Pooh"? I'm so going to find you!

    Mel, Mel, Mel. ... I haven't talked to you in what, like 2 years and you get on here wanting to start some crap (NOZ) about my math abilities? Where is the love? Just so you know, I called Disney and cancelled your personal appointment for Bippity Boppity. I know it is the only time of year that you brush your hair, but you had it coming sister. No sparkly updo for you this year.

  26. New rule: everyone must post under "Anonymous" here WITHOUT identifying themselves. Just to mess with ZZUB. And everyone else. Including me, for that matter.

    Once we've finished doing that, maybe we'll measure our craniums and play Risk. Or roll slate disks the size of Obama's ego down a hill and into Mel's van.

    Speaking of Canada: yall measure temps in Celsius instead of Fahrenheit?! That's very interesting. Next thing you know, you'll be telling me you don't feed chicken to ducks.

    Crazy Canucks.

    What I mean by that is: I did NOT miss you, Mel. Whoever you are.

    Except that I did. Until you agreed with ZZUB. Whatup widdat?

    Glad to see you're bringing funny back though because Lord knows ZZUB hasn't been. Must be too busy trying to figure out how to spell words. Like "Keith" ..or..."naive". Also..."sad"..."BUZZ"..."LaLa"..."NM"... and "dining".

    Or using bacon as a dangling particle.

    And Beef Wellington as a verb.

    Ash! I am DED over the fake trip thing because just tonight I was in Epcot. Except I was really at the track. Power walking. And sweating. While smelling food from Nine Dragons. AKA: the dumpster behind the Chinese restaurant beside the track. I watched as the monoral/train whizzed by (okay so it didn't really whizz as much as clunked) and listened to the Innoventions Loop on my iPod. I was SO THERE.

    And so was the "international flavor". Unfortunately.

    Because Wal Mart's just down the road. As well.

    Anywho. To sum up: even though ZZUB is an idiot, looks like the days of the hootenannies might be back.

    And Maelstrom is still a Fastpass.

    Good thing summer's just around the corner.

    Catch you dummies later,

  27. PS: This is NOT Frick.

  28. Even when you're anonymous, we know who you are.

    FYI: there is now a "preview" button for your comments. And it will allow you to edit it before you post.

  29. What the heck is the background picture? A farm? I'm dying to bring it into sharp focus and see if that little white thing off to the side is a house. It's driving me nuts. And how the heck do you get a copyright on your blog? Did that set you back any cash? Certainly not. You are, after all, ZZUB.


    One more day.

    And I'm officially retired.

    So I'll have tons more time to waste on here.

    Another beautiful sunny day in Macon. High 80s, maybe 90. I heart Georgia.

    Alright, I'm out. Got distracted on the weather.com homepage so I could give y'all the report. It only took me 15 minutes to type this post.

    La, you're still La even when you're not. Don't try and play me, sistah.

  30. NM, we are so borg. That background picture is messin' with my head. Oh, and I just noticed the copyright thingie yesterday, too. Found a misspelling there, as well. Shocked? I didn't think so. I would feel worse about not googling the correct spelling for kibosh if this was anyone else's blog. But if you spell everything correctly, this ain't the place to be. You'd stick out like a sore thumb. Really, it's said.

    TGIF and happy last day of work NM. Sing your heart out ; )

  31. We're back. Except a few are missing. MarkyMark? GAKitty? Jamal? Hi Haley? GRAM!!!! Who'd I miss?


    Yup the fuzzy blue, white and green was freakin' with my eyes too.

    The anonymous poster is not....

    Slicker.....hahahahaha! I can just picture Mellyman outside at the weber, with his Wellingtons, Slicker and Sou'wester on his head. There is a visual. Or not.

    Happy last day of work NM.

    I hope we don't dangle Canadian Bacon.

    That would be gross.

  32. Good morning!

    It's a lovely warm and sunny day here in Can-a-da!

    Take THAT, NM!!!!

    Have a great last day of work even though I don't know what you were working on.

    Besides your tan.

    And, Frick, I wasn't trying to start anything with you I was just giving you a hug. The way I do. You know: jolting, spasmodic and awkwardly. It's also how I dance.

    And sleep.

    According to Mellyman.

    Also I'd like to mention that I have no idea who was writing about beef wellingtons and chinese dumster diving but I think they might be very disturbed.

    And wearing meat shoes.

    Which reminded me of the person I'm missing and we really need to get over here:

    LIL GRUMPY!!!!!!

    Yes, siree!!! Lil' G!!!!

    Because I miss reading his musings which were kinda like trying to follow A Clockwork Orange or The Matrix (1, 2 and...yes... especially 3) but without all the nudity and violence.

    Uhhh... I think.

    In fact, I think he actually wrote "I Am The Walrus" and NOT John Lennon.

    There's also a pretty good chance Lil' G wrote CCR's "Bad Moon Rising" because I can't understand why it starts with "There's a bathroom on the right".


    Have a good day!!!

    Later, Mel.

    P.S. Why does ZZUB do nothing around here but redecorate and boss us around?

    P.P>S I'm not previewing by the way.

    Goo Goo G'JOO!

  33. The copyright has been there since the get go. If there's a misspelled word then 1. it's b/c there was no spellchecker when I wrote it and 2. I'm ZZUB. Just b/c I have an unecessarily large vocabularly doesn't mean I know how to spell. Two different brain functions.

    I wouldn't waste much energy trying to bring the background into focus. That's what TRs are for.

    And I'm working on a solution to the lack of goodies in the comment section. If you discover one in all of your googling, feel free to send me a link and I'll check it out.

    Does anyone else think Mel is in her cups way too early this morning?

    NM, you're retiring? I had no idea you were 65. Or are you a gov't employee?


  34. OK, ZZUB. Here's the deal. It's already time to turn the page. I can't be scrolling down 429 comments every time I sign on here.

    Lil G.

    Now THERE'S a blast from the past!

    Hey Mel!!!

    Don't mistake my vision trouble with your blog background as dislike, ZZUB. I like it. It kinda makes me want to mix up some pimiento cheese and chicken salad and have a picnic. But then I started thinking about how picnics usually aren't as fun as you think they're gonna be. Inevitably, some time of critter comes along to rip the enjoyment right out from under you. Whether it's a bunch of ants, yellow jackets, or mosquitoes, there is no love for the picnic in the NM house once all the food gets spread out on the blanket.

    Plus it's usually hot.

    And I don't like to sweat and eat at the same time.


    Speaking of eating, it's time for lunch.

    Frick made me a ham, and I'm gonna make a sammie. Mmmmm mmmmm, good.

  35. I have to agree that scrolling down this page is exhausting for normal people. With only 5 fingers.

    And, hey ZZUB...you KNOW what they say about men with unecessarily large vocabularies. Don't you?


    You're right, it's NOT a just myth.

    They ARE arrogant and bothersome.

    Now that the pleasantries are out of the way I just wanted to remind you how I used to bring you muffins all the time. Menember? Well, I thought I pop by later today with a surprise. A hairy one. (But... not quite as hairy as those muffins used to be. And this one won't include broken shards of glass either.)

    I'm gonna bring by a huge, face-eating, house-orangutan ape.

    I'm pretty sure you'll like him because he sweats while he eats, too.

    You'll see.

    At least until he gets to your eye sockets.

    Obviously what I mean by the above is this: I've really missed you and your so-called sense of humour. And all your random screaming. In fact this feels just a little bit like Christmas and you're Santa Claus.

    Only fatter.


  36. I happen to LOVE pork, TFI. Unless it’s pickled. Or feet. Or pickled pig feet.

    Or a certain DisBoard moderator.


  37. Anonymity makes me feel invisible. for some reason.

    Lovely to see everyone back in one place. and bringing the funny. and planning a giant meet in our favorite place. We will need pictures, of course.

    Z - really buddy, it is good to have you back-ish. As opposed to seeing your back, which I can't imagine would be very inspiring at all, unless, of course, the inspiration one was looking for was similar in nature to syrup of ipecac.

    What is new in Zzub's world? I'm sure Zzuby and Little Zzub have all kinds of new tricks. Have they started timing how fast they can complete the NYT crossword puzzle like their Daddy? And I am truly sorry about the Schpupin! I know that was a very real loss for you and the rest of the family.

    Has anyone told you that there is a new kitten in the Kitty household? A little blessing, a surprise from God? She is beautiful and perfect and four months old now. And is solving the NYT crossword puzzle in approximatly 23 minutes. Not that I think she is gifted or anything.

    Is it sad that I noticed the copyright long ago? Or just a professional hazard? Not that I think anything around here is hazardous. or toxic. or smelly (NOMel).

    FHOAM! GeorgiaAristocat

  38. p.s. turn the page already.

  39. Goodness you people post a lot of silliness.

    Speaking of the Sillies, we are headed to the land of mouse this Summer as well.

    Maybe we can all meet up at the new TS in the America pavilion at Epicot. Is that redundant? I just like to type Epicot. I hear it is great!

    Yes, I skimmed. Sue me.

  40. Hi Haley!

    Couple of things:

    1-I don't think that's a farm. It's the set from the movie "Intersection". You know, the one where Richard Gere dies in the car wreck on a country road.


    Sorry Yak.

    Maybe that's not right. Maybe it's actually the set from City of Angels. The one where Meg Ryan dies on a bike on a country road.

    Oops I did it again.

    5-Even though I'm equal parts happy and jealous, I'm throwing a huge shindig to mark my girl NM's retirement. Should be fun, and at the end of the night we'll make her give a speech (complete with a weather report that no one residing outside of Macon, GA or Stephanie Abram's body will REALLY care to hear) right before we give her the gift of a golden crapper. It's the gift that keeps on giving.


    3- "You'll see...Until he gets to your eye sockets" is the new "I'm DED". Funniest line ever!! It's also the most twisted, sickest line ever so take that with a grain of salt. Had to call the hubby in to read that one because the whole thing was too funny (and twisted) not to share. His reply was, "Where on earth does she come up with this stuff? I mean, can you just imagine how her mind must work?!"

    In other words: he missed you too, Miss Mayul.

    By the way, his 40th birthday is coming up. Think I should get him a slicker?


    PS. Have I ever told yall that LaLa ROCKS? She does. I only wish I was as smart and talented as she is. But alas, I'm only a dumb fart with a mullet. And a week old ranch dressing stain down the front of my polyester leisure suit.

    PSS. Haley sad Epicot!

  41. Why hasn't Sneezie showed up with cake yet?

  42. That's it.

    TWO smart aleck comments regarding my weather report.

    Y'all are just jealous that I'm BFF with Jim Cantore. Mel has mad love for the bright blue slicker. And La should LOVE my weather report, because it's exactly the same as hers. So shut your pieholes, you two.

    So when's everyone headed to the World? Are we gonna have any overlaps? I need to know so I can wear my big sunglasses and ball cap. And carry my big purse and wear big earrings. And a shirt that says "Don't Blame Me, I Didn't Vote for Him."

    Whatcha say we meet up and ride Maelstrom together?

    Gotta roll. The boy has a ball game this morning. NO better way to spend a Saturday in Macon.

    P.S. Hi Haley!

    P.P.S. ZZUB, due to my geographical proximity to GaKitty, I had the privilege of seeing her beautiful princess while they were still in the hospital. TRULY a beautiful baby. Oh my...

  43. Don't mind the haters, NM. They are just jealous of your gorgeous weather (and pool), as am I.

    Kitty, I had faith you would figure out how to get in here, and decided to leave it to you to announce the arrival of the princess. And, yes, she is a truly breathtaking beauty. (I haven't seen her in person, but have seen photos. And did feel her kick a time or two before she made her ex-utero appearance.)

    Oh, and Z, though I did NOT vote for Scott Brown, I meant to mention that my husband is OFTEN (like more than once a week) mistaken for him. So that may count for something. And though I did vote for Martha, I will concede that I wasn't happy about it. There were a couple of better contenders on the Dem side that would've been/done better.

    And now...Z's country road background has inspired me to take a trip to the 4-H convention. I hear they have a butter Elvis. ; )

  44. OMG, everyone and I mean everyone is going to WDW this summer and I had to cancel to take a lousy job in europe! (ok, maybe its not that lousy and they do have a disney park). On top of that, now that I want to register, for some reason all the clickable links are in German. This is what I get. Freigeben Missbrauch melden Nächstes Blog» Blog erstellen Anmelden butterlbskuchen or using the good ol babelfish translates to Release abuse announce next blog” blog provide an announcing butterpoundcake. OK I added the last one. I am tempted to click on abuse but figure that will take me via hyperlink to pop ups of Melly's unfinished TR's. Zing!