Saturday, May 15, 2010

Just a Simple Guy

Summertime is my time.  I like the sunshine.  I like the warm weather.  I like the longer days.  I like shorts and flippies.  I like ice-cream.  Hamburgers.  Twizzlers.  Driving with the roof open on my car.  Daydreaming about what's coming at the end of our summer.

I'm a simple guy.  And yes, I'm aware that dreaming of a trip to an over-priced resort, to stay in an over-priced room and eat over-priced food is hardly the things of simple folks. But it's a sliding scale.

I make too much money for the government to give me "free" health care.

Here where I live, summertime arrives later than where some of you live (I'm looking right at you NicoleMarie!).  And mid 70's is hardly the Florida hot we'll experience in a just a few weeks.  But after months and months of cold rain, sweaters and long pants, it's awesome to break out the big boy shorts and flippies.  We had about as perfect a Friday night as you can have last night.  We sat on our porch, watched the tall trees shift and move, ate ice-cream cones and let the girls run wild. 

My girls like to run.  Little ZZUB likes to chase after ZZUBY doing everything she does.  Saying everything she says.  Even if the context don't make a lick of sense (NOMel). She'll randomly remind her, "You're not the parent."  Don't know where she heard that one. Last night, her phrase du jour was, "by the way."  She said it at the end of every sentence, by the way.  Li'l ZZUB is a mess.

Anyway, we're now in "summer mode."  Even though ZZUBY has close to another month of school and it'll probably turn cold again 15 minutes from now.  Because that's how it rolls out here where people are too dumb to realize the whole country is swinging back to the Republican party (Hi Massachusetts!  Hi New Jersey!). Still, we like to look forward to what's ahead.  And that means we've busted out our trip video from two years ago.

At the end of every trip, I'll create a DVD of our trip.  I make a slide show of our pictures and set it to music.  Then I include several of our videos.  The slide show from our last trip to Disney World included both still pictures and video.  One of my favorite parts of the slide show (and indeed that whole trip) was shot in the lobby of the Country Bear Jamboree.

The place was empty when we went inside and the girls were just kind of running and skipping around the place.  ZZUBY was trying out some of her gymnastics on the brass bar and Li'l ZZUB was trying to do so as well.  Back then, Li'l ZZUB called her sister, "Diddy," which roughly translated into Sissy.  They were having themselves a time and I remember enjoying myself too.  Watching the slide show again I remembered how fun that 10 minutes was.  I think I even wrote about it in my last TR although I can't be bothered now to re-read it to find out.

The girls had fun running around two other times during that trip.  Once in the lobby of the Grand Floridian (they were mostly dancing there) and once on the 4th floor of the CR (NOCourtneyandRyan [does anyone know if they're still hot?]).  We have hilarious video of country come to town at the GF.  That was an especially fun night for us.

I had a point when I began rambling so many paragraphs ago. I think it was this: one of the things I'm looking forward to is those unplanned moments of carefree joy.  When ZZUBY and Li'l Z make their own fun.  Wherever we are.  And no, we don't have to go to Disney World for that to happen.  By my own account, they did that just last night in our front yard.

It's just more fun at Disney World.  More expensive, too.

But if I don't spend it, President Obama will.


  1. Congratulations GACat! That's exciting news for you guys! This is three now, right? You've only got 27 more to go to catch up with MommmyP.

    Haley!!!! and !! Great to see you as well. So to speak. You're also planning a trip to the World this summer? By my accounting now we've got the LaLas, the NMs, the HappyHats, the Math Impaired and the Sillies. Anyone else?

    I echo NM's call out to Sneezie. I hope she comes along soon. She ALWAYS brings the funny. Plus, I've got a good cake story to share.

    Where's Chapter 11? That dude has one of the funniest dry wits. His comments almost always made me laugh. Ditto: Master Gracey.

    How are Mark and Rhonda doing? Must have been hard for Mark to watch FSU suck it up another year. I'll bet he's happy that Bobby B got the boot. I'm sure Rhonda was, like me, loving watching the Tide roll.

    Anyone know whatever happened to Montana Disney Fan? I think they went off and started their own website, didn't they?


  2. First of all, you unwittingly slammed us "government employees", right? Because lemme tell you, bub, you paid off your law school loans a lot faster than I will because I chose to serve my state legislature instead of bill 90 hours a week. Or something like that. I think I'm doing it for the benefits. Definitely for the holidays: anyone else have Arbor Day off? Didn't think so.

    Secondly, I'm pretty sure Ash just slammed those of us in the middle of the country where 4-H conventions are nothing to sneeze at. I'm a city girl myself (grew up with a pop. of 5000) but I'll defend the butter Elvis until I die.

    "You hit a Prius while driving an Excursion?"
    "And while trying to hook up my hands-free device. The ironies abound."

  3. Z, always nice to hear the fatherly musings of Abu el Banat. It's a foreign concept to me (no pun intended), but if I had had my choice way back then, I'd have had two girls too. Sisters rock. Although I do enjoy watching my boys banter and laugh together. They are the best of friends and it is awesome to see.

    We opened our pool yesterday, so I see the beginnings of summer on the horizon, too. We won't actually be able to SWIM in the thing until oh, July 4th or so, and will have to close it by Labor Day, but gosh darnit, we'll enjoy it while we can. ; ) The height of summer is when I am happy to NOT live south of the Mason Dixon. Don't ask that question in January, though.

    Brandt, I don't so much mind the butter Elvis. It's the Last Supper that gets to me. Such a waste of perfectly good butter!!!! Quick, someone get me a loaf of french bread and a knife.

  4. Hi Haley! Brandt! Ash!

    Et al!!!

    Just wanted to say: OHMIGORSH!!! Congrats, Kitty!!! That's amazing!!! Three kids is a wonderful wonderful thing!!!

    Except when booking hotel rooms or cruises.

    I'm so happy for y'all.

    And I'm laughing pretty hard because at first I thought you got a new kitten. Like a little furry real kitten. And I was initially really happy about that but then I read NM's hospital comment and I just had to think for a second because I was confused. Differences in the American/Canadian healthcare systems and all that. But then I realized it was a "BABY"!!!

    And I am an idiot.

    What I'm saying here is I'm thrilled for you.

    ZZUB I love the picture and it makes me want to get back there SO BAD!!!!

    The happyhaunts had one of those great, lazy, make your own fun and watch the world go by days at MK last trip. Mellyman and Calvin played a couple games of checkers in Frontierland while Beth, Tommy and I spent $3,000 at the Shootin' Arcade. Tommy is pretty darn good, btw. Then we had treats and the boys chased each other around and we watched the parade. Yep good times. Can hardly wait.

    My problem with the butter Elvis is that it just doesn't ring true. It seems to me that for it to be genuine it should be made of peanut butter with banana slice eyes facedown in a pile of pills.

    Down in the Jungle Room.

    But what do I know about art anywho?

    I was also thinking about Mr. LaLa's birthday. And I really don't think you should get him a slicker, LaLa. I've thought of something just PERFECT for him. And I think you'll like it too.

    It's the Do-It-Yourself Turducken Kit.

    You know it, girlfriend!!!!

    You start with three live,feisty barnyard animals and take it from there. First you get the duck to eat the chicken. And between you and I... well... that's EASY! It's more of a challenge getting the turkey to eat the duck. Tho.

    Ducks are mean.

    Anyway, you're welcome and I hope he has a very happy 40th.


    Well... we've got some great weather happenin' here in the land of frostbite, timbits, smelly washrooms, Hockey night in Canada and a nearly at par dollar... so I gotta go walk me some dog who's jamming her nose into my leg. Over and over.

    Cheers, Melly!

    P.S. It's also our Annual Tori Spelling Birthday Celebration and we're having CAKE!!!!!

    Ummmmm... and ribs!!!!

  5. I'd imagine CourtneyandRyan are still hot.


  6. First you get the duck to eat the chicken. And between you and I... well... that's EASY! It's more of a challenge getting the turkey to eat the duck. Tho.

    Just because the thought of THIS actually happening somewhere in the world (you know some yahoo has probably attempted it at some point or another) made me do the silent shake out loud, I'm sending you an early birthday present, Melly. Whatever you think it is, it's NOT a "Cannibalism is Cool" t-shirt.

    Or maybe it is.

    Is the Butter Elvis sitting on a toilet? And sweating? Seems to me that would make it a little more believable. No need to waste perfectly good bananas. After all, they're only good for, like, a day.

    I don't know why I buy them.

    ZZUB, freaky borg. We have also busted out our vacation DVDs from trips past and are itching to get back there. Funny how some of the best moments are the ones when nothing major's going on at the time. That's the good stuff.


    Where IS Chappie? I miss him too, Z. We watched Karate Kid the other day and DH busted out the "If do right, no can defense" line while the girl was pulling a Mel and perfecting her Crane Kick. Cracked me up, and made me think of ole Chappie.

    Even though the weather here has been rainy and dreary all weekend (Hi NM!), I'm also headed out for a big celebration. It's Survivor Season Finale night and we're celebrating BIG TIME in the LaLa house tonight. Hot dogs a la Frick and Ziploc bag ice cream. It's a snack AND a workout. Can't get any better than that.


    PSS. Who's BDG?

  7. Mmmmmyellow!

    I don't know who BDG is, but I know where he is. He's in the bathroom, with a big spoon, eatin some Froot Loops outta the bowl.

    Hi La!

    So Zzub will you tell us your travel dates or will that be kept a secret, much like your jersey number? Oh wait, I'm sure you have posted the deets on your Facebook page so I'll check it out. I must admit, when someone named Barry Schmelly asked me to be a friend, I was weary until I saw your picture and knew it was you. The bald head and the hairy arms gave you away!

    Mel! I know you were just flirting with me and not truly knocking my math intelligence. I will leave for Disney in 8 weeks....we're arriving on 6/5. Will I be running into you my funny friend?


  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

  9. Frick wrote, " will leave for Disney in 8 weeks....we're arriving on 6/5." Classic Frickles!! Someone help poor Frick figure out whether she leaves in 8 weeks OR on 6/5.

    Ash: Abu el banat! That is two excellent and contextually correct WW quotes in the last few weeks. Are you sure you're not really a Republican? Brandt is a close 2d with her "ironies abound" quotes.

    But La2 was equally clever with her Seinfeldian banana line.

    But how could you be hating on the butter Last Supper. You know what's on the table? Butter!

    The thing about that joke is . . .


  10. Hey all!

    So...La...thanks for the t-shirt but I'm gonna send it on to Massachusetts. I'm sure it'll get plenty more wear. There.


    I've got a problem. Ok... two problems... but I'll deal with my inability to get any love from ZZUB for my droll and creative ways of killing him later.


    On Sunday, the happyhaunts were hangin' around outside on the deck. Mellyman was making jerky, smokin' ribs and playing with his brand new toy: a grommet tool set.

    That is not a joke. Sadly.

    Everyone else was in and out of the house. Tommy and Calvin were fooling around with Molly, generally having a fun time but I did have to tell them to calm down on several instances. They tend to work her into a frenzy outside.

    Anywho I was in the kitchen and Mellyman was somewhere else when I heard a horrible horrible yelping. And more and more. It sounded really bad. One of those times you go running as fast as possible towards something you just *know* is very bad and, at the same time, almost don't want to get there.


    Calvin and I reached the backyard at the same time and I'm yelling "What happened, what happened??!!!". Tommy is completely confused and Calvin is yelling that he thinks the dog stepped in something on the deck. She was in a little ball in the corner of the yard. She saw me and literally crawled over across the grass. I could see her side right away. The fur, skin and fat had been stripped completely off in a circle the size of a softball... like a banana is peeled. There was very little blood but it was starting. She was whining.

    To the best of what Mellyman could figure out from Tommy was that he was chasing her around the deck and she somehow stuck her hip on the metal latchhook thingie that locks the door of the metal chiminea. And then panicked and pulled herself off of it. There was fur on it anyway.

    Beth and I took her straight to the Emergency Vet Clinic and they had to operate on it. Poor thing. Unfortunately the vet had to shave basically her whole hip and most of her leg and cut an even longer area open in order to get enough skin to repair the hole. I picked her up and took her home yesterday morning. My poor poor little girl. It is very painful. And Tommy feels like it's all his fault and has been having terrible crying jags (NOmenopause).

    On the upside: She takes her pain pills easily. (NOElvis). Her antibiotics are meat flavoured so that's not a biggie either. Although, I'll have to hide them from Mellyman. And she's leaving it alone thus far so I don't imagine I'll have to put a cone on her.

    On the downside: She's the saddest, sweetest looking thing now. And the cat is trying to lick her stitches. So I'll probably have to put a stupid cone on the cat.

    Ironic. Ain't it?

    And... it cost a grand total of $1,200. Plus there will be another checkup with our own vet and then the stitches have to come out in 10 to 14 days.


    Basically... I've got a mission...I'm shopping around for pet insurance today and I am completely ignorant.

    Also I don't know a thing about pet insurance.

    Anyone got any tips for me (NODisneytips)?

    Cheers, Mel.

    P.S. FRICK!!!!


    We'll be there at EXACTLY the same time.

    I think.

  11. While I'm very sympathetic to your dog's health issues, can we institute a rule that we refrain from posting things, horribly and specifically descriptive things, that make me both light headed and incalcuably woozy? No lie, ZZUB's got a weak stomach. I'm close to losing my breakfast and that won't be good for anybody.

    FYI: the time to buy insurance (pet or otherwise) is before the medical emergency. Unless, of course, you live in the great US of A where our brilliant Dear Leader has decreed that there be no exclusions for pre-existing conditions.

    So it's a pity your Molly is not American. Or, apparently, recently arrived from south of the border.


  12. Sorry ZZUB, I forgot what a weak, groggy, woozy, sissy stomach you have. And I can't really afford to buy you a new keyboard. Again.

    Really, what is it with your consitution?

    Maybe you should have titled this post "Just A Simple Girl".

    What I'm saying here is: As you wish.


    I KNOW I should've, would've, could've bought pet insurance BEFORE. This.

    And... I know that it wouldn't cover this particular injury if I were to buy it today. BUT... had I had it, as I probably should have, we'd be completely covered now.

    I just want to be covered going forward. From here. And there are alot ALOT of companies out there and policies to go through.

    Can you dig?

    We're Canadians, we don't do, we plan!

    Cheers, Mel.

    P.S. What if Molly were to recently arrive from NORTH of the border?

  13. Melly, oh my goodness. I don't have an excessively weak stomach but that story killed me. Poor Molly! And poor Tommy! But I bet he'll listen to you next time you tell him to calm down!

    Z said: The thing about that joke is . . . .....There's nothing you can do about it. You know its coming, and you just have to stand there.

    Kind of like the improving economy. And health care for all.

    I love that June 8th is coming to Frick's house in eight weeks. So DED. Hey Frick, here's a WW quote for you. Anybody here know what the word acalculia means? ;)

  14. Speaking of acalculia....That would be June 5th, not June 8th. (rolling eyes)

  15. Am I the only one who has noticed that this place mimics (with no k) the Disney website? Just a bit? I'm sure that wasn't intentional ZZUB...but if it was, props.

    Mel, that's just gross. And really sad for your dog. What kind of hazardous home are you raising that poor dog in? Do I need to call the Department of Animal Services on you?

    The NMs are a pet free home, so I have no advice for you at all. But if you need to know something about your Disney World vacation, or the weather in Macon, Georgia, or the latest sucky stats for the Atlanta Braves, I'm your girl.

    I can also hook you up with the chords necessary to play "Happy Birthday to You" on the guitar. As long as you're in the key of F.

    But pet insurance, not a clue.

    Our Dear Leader...DED!!!!

    Mel, is it outta line for me to ask you to tell us when you'll be in the World? I'd love to know if our trips overlap. So I can wear my The Battle Series Fan Club tshirt. That way you'll know who I am.

    I'll be there in June. Frick doesn't know it yet, but I'm catching a ride with her as she swings through Macon.



    P.S. I have tried for YEARS to like Twizzlers. I just can't do it. Something about that nasty texture.

  16. What's wrong with the texture of Twizzlers?

    Schpup used to love him some Twizzlers. It was funny to watch him eat them. Funnier still to watch him watch us eat them. Like we were eating his tweats.

    This place mimicks the Disney website? That's a bizzare coincidence.


  17. This place mimicks the Disney website?

    Does it? I hadn't noticed.

    Mel, although I hate to hear about poor Molly's predicament, I think she is officially a Happyhaunt now that she's taken a trip to the ER. Because I'm thinking that's the Happyhaunt Family Initiation. Cuttin' yourself wide open on something and being rushed to the hospital.

    Also: funneling five margaritas in five seconds from the counter service place in Mexico while pedaling a surrey bike in eight inch heels and a miniskirt. A test I'm SURE she's already passed or else she wouldn't have lasted one second in your house, puppy dog eyes notwithstanding.

    Ditto Tommy.

    SO CONGRATS, MOLLY! You done good, puppy dawg!

    That's the good news. The bad news is I know NOTHING about pet insurance. Didn't even know they HAD pet insurance. So you're on your own there. Apparently.

    I'm DED over NM's "I have tried to like Twizzlers for years" statement. Getting a mental picture of THAT completely cracks me up. So since you're my girl, here's a tip that won't cost you anything:


    Or could try the filled variety. I recommend strawberry. That's the only kind of Twizzlers that I will eat. Because I tried for years to like them too.

    They're springy. The texture is kind of springy. Not cool.

    Nice to see ZZUB is still sharp as ever with the Seinfeld quotes. I didn't think anyone would get the bananas line, so as you would say, "good catch", Z.

    I have no idea what acalculia is but it sounds dirty.

    Speaking of which, I'm DED over the BDG toilet bowl line, my sweet little math challenged friend!

    And I think we're going to be there the same time as ALL OF YALL!

    I'll bring the surrey bike and high heels. Mel, NM wants to know if you can bring the margaritas and return her funnel.


  18. NM just called. She does NOT want the funnel washed before it's returned.

    Because that's how she rolls.

    Just passing it along...

  19. Zzub - Love what you've done with the place. Digging (the purely coincidental) new look. Great update. Those moments are so awesome when they happen.

    Mel. Dog. Ouch. Yeesh.

  20. Well, I guess I'm the idiot because I assumed NM's Twizzler comment was a line from some unknown-to-me movie or TV show. I'm now DED that it was just a random thought that popped out of her head.

    Or was it?

    And no, I didn't catch the banana line, either. Even though I have seen every episode of Seinfeld about 2,000 times. Go figure.

    Acalculia is not dirty. But it is Fricky. C'mon Z. Or Brandt. Y'all are leaving me hangin' here....Sam knew it right off.

  21. I'm sorry, Ash. I just assumed you wanted to answer your own question.

    NM NEVER quotes tv shows/movies. She has a life. Evidently a very empty one, however. For a life without Twizzlers can hardly be called a life.

    Has Arlen Specter been Obama'd yet?


  22. The shame of it is, there are only 2 people who are going to appreciate how witty Ash's joke was and how witty was my retort.

  23. Sequential posting is the new edit.

  24. Whilst it's true that Twizzlers are not BGPC, (or even the obligatory breakfast food of commando park tourists) I cannot fathom going to the movies without them! Yumm!

    Ever bit the ends off and used it for a straw? Gotta sip it fast though, or it can become a little soggy and gross. So you better drink it. Fast. With a big grin on your face.



  25. ZZUB SAD:

    Has Arlen Specter been Obama'd yet??

    No, but I think he HAS been Dear Leadered. And that's something NOBODY wants to be.

    Heh Heh...

    Is that a cleverly disguised reference to some weird television show that only three people in America get?

    Could be.

    Just to be on the safe side, I think you should re-watch every Seinfeld episode again. Watch the banana one four times in a row. For good measure. And follow it with a Little House on the Prairie marathon. Which is ACTUALLY the background ZZUB has chosen for his little fake Disney page. Little House on the Prairie.

    I think.



  26. Good morning from the land of sunshine and blue skies.

    And humidity. And hot weather.

    But hear me now: I am NOT complaining after the miserable winter we had this year.

    Bring on the summer heat.

    La, shut your pie hole about my Twizzler attempts! I'm not purchasing them in the checkout line at Walmart every week and giving them the ole college try. My kids like them. So every now and then at the ball park, or when they're chowing down on the Valentine's candy they got at school, they'll open a package of Twizzlers and start gnawing on them. I'll watch and think, "What am I missing?" So I'll take a bite. And nothing has changed. They are still springy (great description) and generally gross. So unlike the tastes I finally acquired later in life for chili, broccoli, and anything fishy, Twizzlers are still nasty to me.

    Regarding the funnel, Mel can just keep it, actually. It's likely breeding infection from something it's touched in her home (Molly's wound comes to mind) and I'd rather just lie on my back and have someone pour the margaritas straight into my mouth than risk e coli infection.

    Alright, gotta run. I actually have somewhere to be this morning. Fancy that.

  27. I HAVE tried the filled ones. I'd rather have a pack of Fruit Gushers, though.

  28. I don't get the hating on the Twizzlers. I love 'em. But I do like Swedish Fish better. Fruit Gushers? ICK!!!!!

    Alcalculia = the inability to perform arithmetic functions. See? Now you are all in on the joke. NOFrick.

    Oh, and I meant to say that Mark & Rhonda are fine. We actually watched Bama's SEC win in their living room in early December. Well, it was on anyway. I wasn't really watching it. Just trying to stay out of Mark and Brandt's line of vision.

    Chappie has disappeared, unfortunately. I miss him, too.

    Have no idea on Sneezie. We'll have to hope she pops in with some cake at some point.

  29. You know, Ash, I was just thinking about watching the SEC title game that night at Mark and Rhonda's and I'm ashamed to admit I don't remember much except plopping myself in my designated chair next to Mark and trying not to yell, good or bad, so as not to disturb the 99% of you who didn't care about the game.

    Of course, I wasn't as successful at keeping quiet while watching my beloved Nebraska lose to TEXAS with that dang one second that Colt McCoy just KNEW was still on the clock - uh huh. I'm sure I woke poor NM's sweet kids, but I'm hoping her neighbors chalked it up to that lady from Massachusetts ;)

    And while I consider myself a spelling champ (wanna count my trophies?) I'm not sure I could've spelled acalculia without some serious googling.

  30. Good morning all!

    While I'm not the biggest candyfan in the world, my kids seem to be quite fond of Twizzlers. I usually buy them if we're going camping or to the beach... instead of fruit. They travel well, btw. (And if "springy"...heh your favourite food texture, you gotta try original Gummi Bears. The Haribo ones. Those rock... springinetically speaking) Anywho... the odd time I have one it's because Tommy wants to eat it with me in the Lady and The Tramp manner. And I think it's fun 'cause it ends in a lil kiss.

    It also makes Molly give Tommy an annoyed little "woof". Because SHE'S the only one. I'm allowed to kiss. Apparently.

    On that topic: She's doing pretty well and except for the leg-flailing nightmares that the pain killers are giving her... her hip doesn't look too bad today. However, whenever she bends her leg, the wound ope...errr... nevermind.

    Sorry Z. My bad self.

    The other thing I've done with Twizzlers is bake them. I don't know if anyone recalls but my cousin George and I have a little thingie between us where we like to play practical jokes on each other. Practically all the time. When we got together in March I cut some up and baked them into Pillsbury Crescent Rolls.

    For him.

    It's May now... and I think he STILL has some stuck in his back molars.

    Heh heh.

    Moving on.

    HEY JAVA!!!! Long time!!!

    And it's good to hear about Mary and Rhoda, again. Glad they're doing well.

    Remember that? I think that was Chappie's joke. Which killed me!!!!

    Ash... I'm sure hoping Tommy learned something the other day. (He's feeling better today because the dog is doing so well) But, considering his track record, it wasn't "listening to Mom"... that he learned. Calvin either.

    On the upside, Beth seems to absorb my so-called wisdom alot faster.



    HELLO! My Biscuit!!!

    He sad, "Mel. Dog. Ouch. Yeesh."

    So... now you are my CaveBiscuit and I have to tell you: Me. Read. Trippie. Like. Much. No. Comment. Locked. Up.

    Heh heh.

    Must. Go. Find. Fire.


    P.S. BRB.

    P.S.S. Anyone remember the Gummi Bears cartoon?

  31. It occurs to me that NM has not been sampling Twizzlers as much as she's been eating Red Vines which look suspicously like Twizzlers but pale in comparison (NOStudio60ontheSunsetStrip).

    The SEC Championship game was one of the most fun games I've ever watched. I actually bought a DVD of it and enjoy re-watching it.

    Ash: even though the screams of your liberalism can be heard clear on the other side of the country, your mad love for Gummy Fish cannot be ignored! I LOVE me some Swedish Fish.

    Looks like poor Snarlin' Arlen got Obama'd yesterday. He's the kiss of death: if he's for you, you're gonna lose. Arlen makes the 4th candidtate Obama backed who's lost.

    But Arlen had it coming. He's a self-interested turncoat (NOCharlieCrist). It'll be interesting to see how he votes on Kagan now. I think he's p-o'd enough to exact some revenge on the President.

    Baking Twizzlers in a crescent roll. That could only come from one mind. How is it you don't get arrested more?


  32. Hey Javamom! It's good to see you around!

  33. Speaking of features, ZZUB, do you think you could get that group hug smilie thing like they have on the Disboards for over here?

    Because it makes me want to puke blood.

    I had to laugh hard, Laylene Johnson, at your comment about Molly being an official happyhaunt now because she's suffered a horribly disfiguring (NOZZUB) accident.

    Tru dat!

    Two weeks before Christmas '08, Beth was running circuits around the main floor early on Saturday morning when suddenly Mellyman and I were awakened by incredibly loud shrieks of pain.

    Not coming from Tommy being woken by Calvin.

    THOSE shrieks we're pretty used to by now... and generally sleep right on through.

    Anywho... Beth had picked up speed and somehow misjudged the jumping distance from the middle of the room to the couch. She jumped, getting the corner of the table leg inbetween her third and fourth toe. You could tell they were clearing broken because they were sticking out from her foot at a perfect 45 degree angle. Making a very legible "L".

    "L" is for "Look before you jump! Doo da doo da!".

    Oh crap. Z... maybe you shouldn't have read that part.

    Go back and skip it. K?

    She ended up on crutches for a month or so with the two little ones taped to the other three larger toes.

    She healed but crooked.

    She'll never be a flippie model.

    Last summer Calvin jumped off of a house. (There are no gross details to this one, btw. Read on!)

    He was at the beach with friends of ours. My dear dear friend who still feels somewhat guilty about it. Even tho I've said "It's not your fault!" and "Forgettaboutit!" and "It's CALVIN!!!! After all!". About 3,000 times. And punched her in the arm for emphasis.

    Anywho... he figured he could jump 20 odd feet from a roof because it was SAND. Afterall.

    Well he didn't land well. And broke his foot in two places. Across the top and through the growth plate.

    We got him casted and upgraded to a waterproof, walking cast. For $150.00.

    About a week later he breaks the cast. By falling out of the tree in our front yard. That he was climbing. Because he misjudged the jump between branches due to the fact he's "not used to climbing trees in a cast". He sad.

    New cast. Another $150.00.

    Two weeks later we're up North at our camp. Breaks the new cast. Playing soccer. Kicking the ball. With said cast.

    New hospital. New cast. New $150.00.

    Big lecture.

    Long one.

    About one week later. It becomes VERY apparent the cast has to come off.


    Bad smell. BADBAD smell.

    Coming from the cast.

    While playing in the river and catching frogs in the shallows of the river... he had apparently not drained the cast. As per the instructions. Or thoroughly.

    We figured he, did indeed, catch an extra tadpole. And had brought it back down south. With him.

    Back to hospital. Guy with saw is surprised to see us again. Guy with saw cuts cast off and almost vomits.

    (That was kinda worth it all, actually!).

    Wash leg. Many many times. New cast. $150.


    This one lasts until he gets it off and is pronounced "healed".

    The orthopedic surgeon at the Fracture Clinic tells us it's a personal cast record for one single injury.

    Go CALVIN!!!



    NM... I'll happily return your funnel. But I was confused by the word "WASH".

    Huh. What does that mean?

    (Biscuie: Huh. What. Mean?)

    Because I've never NEVER washed your funnel. And guess what?

    It's magic.

    Because no matter what liquid you pour into the top of the funnel, what comes out of the bottom of it is always a thick batter-like sludge. Goo. Goop. And guk.

    Needless to say I WILL return your mystical magical device of wonder. But not before I stop by ZZUB's office this afternoon.

    With a lil batch of homemade FUNNEL CAKES!

    Me. Know. He. Likey. (NOBiscuie)

    Cheers, Melly.

  34. HAHAHA!

    I just reread that and killed myself.

    Not literally. Sorry Z.

    But because I didn't explain why Beth was running early morning circuits of the house.

    No not because it's happyhaunt Boot Camp.

    Or that she's just a crazy incredibly fit happyhaunt.

    She was chasing Molly and playing with her.

    That's why.

    Heh heh. I'm still laughing.



    P.S. I'll happily share our upcoming trip dates for Disney.

    But not before everyone else. That wouldn't be fair. Someone go first.

    And ZZUB, you go firstfirst.

  35. Mel, you just killed me too. But not because of Beth's early morning circuits. Because of this: "Last summer Calvin jumped off of a house. (There are no gross details to this one, btw. Read on!)" And then you go on to tell us about the dead smelly decomposing tadpole inside Calvin's cast. What, praytell, do you consider gross details? No. Never mind. Don't answer that.

    GB, ditto here on the the TR. I never got to post after I finally finished reading due to sad locked up-ed-ness. Sorry. But good show caveman dude!

    Z, I know you are baiting me and I ain't takin' it. Except to say that the common wisdom says that it was Sestak's ad linking Specter to GW BUSH that killed him. Oh, and maybe his admission in that same ad that he changed parties so he could get re-elected....Bottom line, Specter's loss was a good thing for the Dems. Sestak's a better candidate. Most of the big battles I've seen are coming out of the Republican party, who can't decide on a consistent message. NOMitchMcConnell&RandPaul.

  36. Have I got an account here still? If so, would you please tell me what my password was...for know.

    So, now I'm wondering if it would be more fun for me to just keep dragging this out whilst you all have absolutely no idea who this is....or maybe I could go clean the pool...seems like I did that in a previous life.

    Aaaaanywho...I am still kicking, Zzub...not to be confused with, "kicking Zzub." NOMel.

    I haven't been around for many a moon because I have been climbing a mountain...well, we have been climbing a mountain. YAJ and I. A mountain made of paper...which has been partially completed...just before an avalanch that would have ended in much wailing, gnashing of teeth, and broken bones...very wolley. As an aside, I think I have a rather unhealthy fascination with ellipses. Moving on. The aforementioned paper mountain does have an apex. One that has a population of 1...or 3, if you count YAJ and I. We don't know what she looks like...we don't even know if she is alive yet, or not. What we DO know, is that she will be coming from an orphanage in Rwanda, she will (hopefully) be home with us by Christmas, and that Bama sucks. Those are very few things to really know, but they are vitally important...all of them.

    Well...back to the mountain of paperwork...gotta keep moving before my piton slips. I'll leave you all to distort that last, perfectly innocent statement as I know you will.



  37. Ha! I do have an account here...and I figured out the password without any help from you there. :p


    Wow! This is a blast from the Maelstrom past. Many congrats on your upcoming adoption. We know several folks who have adopted internationally, and understand the mountain of paperwork is unbelievable. Too bad they don't make you do all that to have a baby in the good ole US of A. Around here, any old idiot can be a parent and then the poor kids are the ones who suffer. NOLilZZUBandZZUBY.


    Good to see you again, MG. Congrats to you and the Missus.

    Mel. I am so grossed out that you can't even know.

    I can smell the cast from here.

    We're headed to the World for the last week of June and through the 4th of July weekend. I'm finally gonna see me some 4th of July fireworks at WDW and I couldn't be more pumped.

    ZZUB will be there at the same time. We bought DVC and invited them to stay with us in a Grand Villa at BLT. I never thought they'd accept the invite, so I was seriously screwed when they did. But Mama taught me you never take back an what was I gonna do?

    Hi Ash!!

  39. Z said: It occurs to me that NM has not been sampling Twizzlers as much as she's been eating Red Vines which look suspicously like Twizzlers but pale in comparison(NOStudio60ontheSunsetStrip)

    DED. DEDDER than DED.

    The Good Guys premiere tonight, anyone? I'm trying to figure out why Josh decided it was a good idea to grow a Magnum P.I. moustache. I think Amy might have had something to say about that.


    Anybody who wants to continue an international adoption after the rigamarole you have to go through is good people. And what a Christmas present!

  41. That's CAPTAIN CaveBiscuit to you missie! And you have to wabble your cheecks and do an inverted Helsinki Chortle while yelling it.



    Thanks for the shout out on the TR.

    You too AC!

    Time. Save. Planet. Eat. Meat. (NoAKLobby)

  42. Hey MG is in the house! Mazel tov on the baby, too! Just keep reminding yourself that there is a super sweet tax credit coming your way to make up for all of the paperwork. Oh yeah, and a baby you'll love and adore, too!

    Ash: by "common wisdom," you must mean "leftist lunatic friends of mine," or "commentary I see on MSNBC." The list of excuses grows: Martha Coakley lost b/c she was a bad candidate and John Corzine lost b/c the people of New Jersey wanted a change and Creigh Deeds lost b/c he too was a bad candidate. Nothing is ever the result of being too close to the Dear Leader.

    Honestly, I do perceive this to be a pyrrhic victory for the Rs. My sense is Sestak will fare better in the general than Specter would have. But I am relishing in Obama's 4th loss. And Snarlin Alren getting his rightful comeuppance.

    Speaking of Obama and blame shifting, any chance he'll grow up and take responsibility for anything during his term? Or will he run against George W. Bush in 2012 again?

    NM, I didn't realize we were staying in a grand villa! I thought we agreed to split a 1 bedroom. How much more is THIS high-falutin' upgrade going to cost us?!


  43. Rigamarole? I think I had that for dinner at Tuto Italia the last time we were in Epcot.

    Oh, hey GB! Did you write a Trip Report?

  44. Come on, ZZUB, I know you have no memory, but we've talked about this AT LENGTH. It just figures that you'd try and talk your way out of the cash. Pony up, big man!!

    I'm only here to see what new words I can Google and add to my ever-expanding vocabulary.

    1. pyrrhic (Really? You use words like that? Why?)

    Brandt, where'd you get that cool winking smilie? And for the record, y'all, Brandt is as intellectual a girl as you will find. NOZZUB. And her intellect carries right over to her love for sports. She's as HARD CORE a sports fan as the NM family has even seen. And the NMs love some sports. We didn't mind your passionate display one bit, girl! ;)

  45. And by Cheecks I mean Cheeks.

    Write a TR? Not as such...I just vomited out whatever random thoughts were bouncing around my cranial enclave (Hi Mel)

    I’ve been told it is exhausting…and cathartic. Which I think means it’s too wordy.

    Like health care reform.

    Only with pictures…and a T-shirt.

    And chronic flatulence.

    Which I understand is now covered.

    Even if it is pre-existing.

  46. I can't lie, we're pretty excited about our little tax break...or TB as we like to call her. At least our foray into socialism has increased that particular credit by a grand. I will happily accept it. Maybe I can grab a Nobel prize while I'm at it. I hear they've restricted the qualifying acts for those a bit recently.

    Oh, and've got to forgive Zzub his vocabulary. It's one of his little idiosyncracies. Bama people are that know...Napoleanic Dynamite complexes.

  47. This comment has been removed by the author.

  48. There's only one thing that needs to be sad here:

    It's M-A-S...T-E-R..G with a double E!!!

    So nice to see you back around again, MG. I was looking for something the other day and stumbled upon that old George Bush thread you started. That remains one of the funniest threads ever. And that's a lil sumpm sumpm you can add to your resume that won't cost you a dime. Also: congrats on the upcoming adoption. My sister and her husband have adopted twice internationally. Once from Russia and once from China.

    Despite the fact that they listed me as a reference.

    The process is expensive, drawn out, and emotionally draining. But the payoff is completely priceless. Best of luck to yall. Just don't bust out the Hamma pants until the kid's at least eighteen. Wouldn't want to scar TD forever.

    NM, I wouldn't go Googling "pyrrhic" just yet. Chances are, he misspelled it.


  49. MG, I would SOOOOO love to join you in picking on ZZUB and the Roll Tide Nation as a whole. Because almost every Alabama fan I've ever known (and this is a very true statement - coincidental, I'm sure, but true nonetheless) is BIG TIME obnoxious. And in Georgia, there are LOTS of Alabama fans.

    But if I start making fun of Alabama, then the inevitable will happen. Someone (ZZUB) will start making fun of my beloved Dawgs and their crappy as all get out record of late. I will be saddest ever and will walk into my son's room and pay homage to the larger than life signed photo of Knowshon Moreno and Matthew Stafford. I'll cry huge tears of disappointment as I look around at all the Georgia logos so proudly on display. And while I'm always a proud member of the Bulldog Nation, I'll mourn the better days that Georgia has seen.

    Days like when Herschel Walker was playing. And still held the SEC record for rushing touchdowns. Before it was ripped from his hand by one Tim Tebow. Has anyone ever heard of Tebow? I kinda like him.


    MG, I just can't go there with the Bama comments. As much as I'd like to and as much as I agree with you.

    Big sigh...

  50. MG, aren't you a Tennessee fan? You are one brave boy!! :)

  51. I am, indeed, a Volunteer. And NM, I don't think you grasp the concept of being an SEC fan. You don't have to be riding the crest of the wave to trash talk. In fact, it helps if you throw all reasonably valid arguments out the window and just make up your own...kinda like some of the Tide's imaginary titles...what is that number up to now? 76 I think? :)


  52. Isn't part of the fun of having kids embarrassing them early and often? I think I'm going to go pick her up in the Hamma pants.

    Maybe I'll even make her a pair and we can get a dance routine. You know, mother/daughter bonding and all. :-)

  53. BG said "And chronic flatulence.

    Which I understand is now covered.

    Even if it is pre-existing?"

    Ok, blogger needs a quote system.


    Javamom, AKA Steph

  54. YAJ sad:

    Isn't part of the fun of having kids embarrassing them early and often? I think I'm going to go pick her up in the Hamma pants.

    Maybe I'll even make her a pair and we can get a dance routine. You know, mother/daughter bonding and all. :-)

    Spoken like a true Mom!

    Nice to see you busting in with the funny, Jen. And congrats!

    Tebow's a-ight. But Colt McCoy is a stud. My next child WILL be named Colt because that's just the coolest name ever. So much cooler than say, "Obama" or even "Dear Leader".

    This place is starting to feel like old times. Kinda makes me wolley and yellow all at the same time.


  55. What's especially fun is bashing the entire SEC when you don't have a dog in that particular fight. Big XII all the way, baby! (Until someone gets poached by the Big Ten, at least)

    There was a story in the local paper this past January after Florida's bowl game. It seems an Iowa family drove all the way to the game, and on their long journey home in the pickup, they distinctly heard a cat crying. Stopped at a rest stop and discovered it was a kitten who had climbed up into the engine and ridden for who knows how long in there.

    The nice family decided to keep the poor thing, but named it Tebow - since it's turned out to be such a cry baby.

  56. Brandt, I should have known you'd come in with the Tebow jokes! Woman! I understand, though. Everybody loves to hate on the most popular college football player ever. Cue ZZUB with some of the same bidness. I have a feeling he'll agree with you. I'd hate on Bama's quarterback before ZZUB got here if I could remember his name.

    But I can't without Googling it.

    Moving on.

    Weather is great and the weekend is getting cranked up already. My girl is being baptized this Sunday and the count for folks coming for lunch after church is up to 33.


    I'm having a baked potato bar and various salads so if you have a to-die-for salad recipe that will be easy and can be made ahead of time, bring it.

    NM out.

  57. Good morning!

    I have to admit that none of this football talk means anything to me up here in the northlands. The best I can do is put on my Rolltide shirt and skim.

    But you all seem to be pretty into it... so there must be something there. I guess. Then, again, I think you like grits and pork rinds

    WELL!!! I'm so happy to see Master G and Jen, again. Especially because we're a little low on Jens now. Seriously tho... congratulations on your pending adoption. How incredibly exciting and life-changing. And I highly highly recommend adoption.

    Being adopted myself.

    Anywho...maybe I shouldn't have said that. What I meant to say was this: don't leave us for your boondoggle paperwork again!

    We had to close down the pool and, ultimately, the whole blog.

    Your fault.

    Heh heh.

    I'd also like to share my weather forcast for the day: it's gonna get to 28 degrees C!!!

    Get busy Frick, I DARE to to do the fahrenheit conversion. Correctly.

    Oh yeah...

    NM... as nice as your offer to share either a one bedroom or a grand villa with ZZUB... let me give you a lil sumpin sumpin to ponder. Do you really really reallyreally want to be THAT close to ZZUB's powder room? I mean don't we know a few things about him by now? I'd suggest we DO... and you don't want to even have a room on the same floor, tfi. He probably spends so much time in there that you wonder if he's actually doing anything other than playing Tetris on his phone. Then again... once the door opens... I'm sure there'd be no question. NO QUESTION.

    I'd also like to remind you that the Canadian Government is STILL trying to extradite him back here to be tried for crimes against Epicot.

    Cheers, Mel.

    I also have a recipe for you. But later, K?
    Doo do dit do!

  58. I'll have to be upgraded from Pool boy to Yardwork boy. Just bought a new weedeater...trimmed the yard...took a shower...tired...hungry. In fact, too tired and too hungry to bring the funny. Back when the batteries are topped off.

    Oh, and Mel, I submit he IS doing something else in the powder room. I sumbit he's browsing Bama sites on his iPhone...or zPhone...or whatever he has. How else could you explain the magnitude of the stench.

    See should be careful what you wish for. You just might get it. Although, in hindsight, I guess you didn't wish for me to come back...just mention that I hadn't at that time. So, bonus for you!

  59. Colt McCoy...does this name not make anyone but me laugh. I laugh everytime I hear it.

    The boy is from Texas and they named him Colt McCoy. Maybe they should make him the Texas mascot or something.

  60. Holy crap on a cracker you guys are chatty.

    TFI Zzub - you need to add Big Bang Theory to your repertoire of TV viewing if you haven't already.

    Good to see you MG & Jen and many congrats!

    MEL SAD:

    "I have to admit that none of this football talk means anything to me up here in the northlands. The best I can do is put on my Rolltide shirt and skim."
    (how do you bold things???)

    Big Borg on that one Mel.

    I was in Mary and Rhoda's (OMG I'm DED!) living room too. Wondering what all the fuss was about. Watching Krista's always smiling face slip away.

    Hockey, anyone?

    There is a sport you can watch 12 months of the year. Especially if you live in JAX. Has Shelby made it here yet?

    Anyway, thanks for keeping me entertained.

    Believe me, I need it!

    Mel, thanks for the icky cast story. We've been to that same fracture clinic. But before you. I'll make sure we keep driving next broken bone in the YAK household because I bet you can't get that smell out. You forgot to mention what else "free health care" will get you besides $600. in casting fee's. About twentyteen hours of wait time for those casts at OTMH. Been there, done that!

    Psssst Frick something over 80F.....

  61. Crikey! I think ZZUB's been jimmy-jacked!

    Hey Z!

    What up? Watcha doin?

    You're not hulking out because of all the football trash (NOKimKardashian) talking, are U?


    Stop working and come and play.

    I have a skittle for you.

    When I'm good and done with it.


    P.S. Grouphugsmilie.


    P.P.S. YAK!

    Do you live somewhere near Me(l)?????


  62. ZZUB, I'm here and I made cake.


  63. Hey Master G and Jen! Nice to see you, and thrilled to hear about your new incoming TD. So exciting!!!

    Brandt, I will admit I set my DVR to record The Good Guys but haven't watched it yet. Will do so at some point. Did you? How was it?

    Even though I was in the room when that SEC game was on, I had to Google Tim Tebow to see where he played (meaning college, not the Broncos, for whom I suppose he hasn't played. yet.) Though not in Canada, I'm far enough North to not have a clue about college football. But hanging with you all (or y'all), I'm learning.

    And you know what they say about learning, dontcha Z? (It's delightful and delicious!)

  64. Yep, I'm reading and doing the silent shake along with the rest of y'all.

    Congrats to MG & YAJ! That is awesome!

  65. Quick question...

    Does American cheese go good with Canadian Bacon?

    Just wonderin'

    P.P.S MEL!

    Yup - I too, live in the Golden Horseshoe

    I'm a poet

    And didnt know it


  66. I have to second the recommendation for the Big Bang Theory. good times.

    Thanks for the congrats on the baby. Mel - I actually wondered if anyone would get confused by the kitten/baby/kitten thing, but decided that everyone on here was clever enough to figure it out. shoulda known, oh well.

    And heartiest congratulations to MG and YAJ!!! So exciting! Can you believe I still had YAJ's phone number in my phone a few weeks ago? I think I finally deleted it b/c I figured
    a. It probably wasn't even the right number anymore.
    4. It would seriously freak her out if I called.
    XCI. Since we hadn't heard from you in, like, forever, that you had washed your hands of us and liked it that way.

    Thank goodness I was wrong. About that last one.

    someone posted and said they were Sneezy (or Sneezay). That was obviously La pretending to be Sneezy since she said something about making a cake instead of buying one at the Bakery and making up a birthday.

    Or not making up a birthday - since Mr. La is turning 40. I've decided that 40 isn't so scary. It's the new little black dress. Wait. Maybe that IS scary.

    Brandt - don't try to mislead Z about government work. We all know you get to wear blue jeans and flip flops for 8 months of the year. That's hardly real lawyer dressing. I want your job.

    Mel - that was some serious nastiness about the poor pup's injuries. Thanks for the mental images. Z- if you are really that sensy about stuff then you need to figure out your mental happy place (duh) and be able to transport yourself there. It helps. Since you obviously have some psychosomatic symptoms reflecting too much empathy for the injured. Not that I know anything about that from personal experience. Just ask my 10th grade chem lab partner who doesn't know how to catch people when they faint.

    (fainting smilie)

  67. Yikes, you all are chatty.
    I killed my laptop so I can't get here from work.


    Z you do no that Canada is North of The US of A, right?

    Still reading...

  68. Seriously. Did it eat my comment.

    Never mind then.

    (Z Canada is to the North of the USofA, tfi)

  69. except I don't really want Brandt's job since she lives where it snows. regularly.

    I'll take the overwhelmingheatforsixmonthsoftheyear instead.

  70. Mel, I came here for my salad hookup and NO DICE.

    I'm making my grocery list and I'm just gonna guess at the ingredients:

    Iceberg lettuce
    Crumbled up pork rinds
    Thousand Island dressing

    Wait a minute...that's what you THINK we eat down here, isn't it? Girl, I may love me some grits, but I've never eaten a pork rind and I don't intend to start now.

    I do, however, love me a glass of sweet tea. It is on the grocery list and it's most delicious from the deli at Publix.

    YAJ, until you made that comment about Colt McCoy's name, I thought it was a really cool name. Then I got to thinking about it: he's named after a baby horse. Is that really a cool name after all? Now I'm not so sure. So thanks for that.

    Y'all have a good day. I'm out to get some stuff done. Starting with a 6 am run to Kroger because I forgot to get cinnamon rolls for breakfast this morning. And if it wasn't my daughter's last Friday of elementary school, I'd probably ask if they'd mind a slice of cheese toast instead.

    But Cinnamon Roll Friday has been a tradition since Kindergarten, and I'd feel like a loser if I missed the last one of the year.

    Hi Haley!

  71. ZZUB is on the road. I'm down in LA for work. Ate at some ridiculously pretentious (NOObama)French restaurant last night. When the waiter put the amuse bouche in front of me, I barely contained my laughter. The amuse bousce, by the way, was a bowl of carrot ginger soup.

    Ginger? Really?!! I asked the server how close we were to Canada's bathrooms. He seemed confused by the question.

    Bowl is not really the right word either. As most of you know, an amuse bouche is a pre-appetizer and by definition will be small. (Keith Olberman's brain.) It was actually more of a thimble.

    For those of you who were wondering, I managed to "hang on to" the carrot ginger soup for a surprising 4 hours.

    MG: your impudent rage towards Alabama is not unjustified. You're a fan of what can best be described as a middle-of-the-pack SEC team. Your colors are orange and white. Not even a cool orange like Florida's orange juice orange. Tenn's orange is the color of baby poopy. As you'll soon discover. Then there's the whole, name, "Volunteers," which has been mercifully shortended to "Vols." Like that was an improvement. Speaking of stepping down when you intend to step up: UT's coaching changes in the last 2 years have been (what's a nice word?) odd. So yeah, I can see why you're jealous of Alabama and its 13 national championships. In other words, it must suck to be you.

    Which reminds me, hi Mel.

    Ashclan, let me be clear on this: in the faux universe we've come to inhabit, are you now CJ? I really always thought of you more as an Ainsley. With an "n." And before you go off half cocked, it should be remembered that Ainsley is the smartest woman on the show.

    If I wanted to insult you, I would have said you were Mandy. The most annoying, self-important character on a show filled with self-important people.

    Brandt of course is Dr. Bartlet. She drops in periodically and is preternaturally witty. Insouciant even.

    Is today cinnamon roll Friday? Crap. I forgot to mail my cards before I left on this trip.

    NM: Congratulations on your daughter's baptism. That is a very significant day in her life and in the life of your family. Mazel Tov.

    Hopefully you'll see this before you head to the store. Here are some things you need to get for your baked potato bar (n.b. not all conservatives struggle with spelling that word):

    Grilled chicken
    Fried chicken wings
    Roast beef, rare
    Fried won tons
    Butter (but not: I Can't Believe It's Not Butter)
    Sustainable fish (whatever the heck that is)
    Kosher salt (for your Jewish friends)
    Also: bagels, lox and a nice piece of whitefish

    Carrot ginger soup (which was surprisingly good)
    Immodium AD
    Market inspired cooking
    Anything from Jiko: the cooking place
    Several large spoons
    More meat (honk if you remember this reference)
    Pad thai (it's fun for people to say)
    Shrimp (and not no nasty ol' bag of frozen srimps either!)
    A vegetarian dish like Hidden Meat Lasagna
    A congealed salad (you aint suthern if there's no congealed salad on your buffet)
    Fried Twizzlers
    Yogurt (if you don't have any, let me know. I've got about 17 dozen I took out of the concierge lounge I'll be happy to send you)
    And some dish no one can identify but looks pretty anyway
    Potato salad
    Devilled eggs (see congealed salad above)


    Mrs. Z and I went to a party last December where something that pretended to be ham was served. IT WAS THE MOST HIDEOUS THING I'VE EVER EATEN IN ALL OF MY LIFE!!!! It tasted like flesh. I tried to conceal my revulsion by masking the pig meat with potatoes and bread. No dice. The foul, repugnant taste of pig bore through. I nearly died. So now I steer clear of all so-called smoked ham.

    And with that, I'm gone. Day full of work down here in this fakata city.


  72. While I'm sure the remainder of that post was as hilariously funny as the first part, I cannot get past:


  73. MG - Alabama ain't always been good, and Tennessee ain't always been bad. Just remember that. Since the SEC is full of superior teams to anywhere else in the country (Hi Brandt!) everyone will get their time for some smack talk. So let ZZUB enjoy his. Bless him. I was gonna say he was the only NON-obnoxious Alabama fan I'd ever met, but now I can't.

    Oh well...

    But there's no doubt about it - of all the SEC games I've ever attended, hearing Tennessee's band belt out Rocky Top is some good times. I'll give you props for that.

    Moving on.

    Thanks for the congrats, ZZUB. We're looking forward to the weekend, although I've cried about four times today just THINKING about the baptism and the following week when the girl graduates from 5th grade. It seems the stoicism I've been praying for hasn't shown up yet. But I did buy some waterproof mascara, so I reckon I'm ready. Time sure does fly.

    And you know I'm sportin' a congealed salad. Strawberry pretzel to be exact. It's a new recipe I'm trying out and I'll let y'all know how it goes. But what's not to love about strawberries, pretzels, jello and cream cheese? Can't go wrong, is what I'm thinking.

    Add that to the heavy on bacon and cheese salad recipe that Brandt PMd me, and I think things are lookin' good. Cause you ALSO can't go wrong with bacon and cheese.

    Only in the South would a buffet of salads and baked potatoes be heavier in calories and fat than a bucket of fried chicken.

    God Bless Dixie.

    I think I'll go for a run just because.

  74. NM -

    That is awesome about the baptism. And I hear you on the creative southern buffets. The kids are sponsoring a Nacho bar at churh on Sunday as a camp fund rasier. The last list for fixings I saw included

    Ground Beef
    Yellow onion
    Green onion
    Diced Tomatoes
    Refried Beans
    Sour Cream
    Shredded Lettuce
    Black Olives
    Pickled Jalapenos
    Raw Jalapenos
    Diced green chili peppers
    Diced Avacado
    Red Salsa
    Green Salsa
    Pico De Gallo

    Which means you can so thoroughly cover your nachos, that you no longer see chips. Which is how any good Texan ought to do it. (NoColtMcCoy)

    Z - Might want to go easy on the ginger. You are on a fault line after all.

  75. So Ainsley was the smartest character on the show? Does that include when she walked into a closet and told the President she had to go pee?? I'll take CJ, thank you. Even though she's not quite as attractive. (But she's tall, like me. Though no one ever called me Flamingo.) As for you, I'm sure you'd like to be Josh but I'm thinking Toby. And yes, ANYONE but Mandy, TYVM. I hated her.

    That was one funny post, Z, I'll give ya that. Love the potato bar suggestions. NM, what a fun idea! And yes, I giggled at Brandt's salad-that's-more-unhealthy-than-KFC. Sounded yummy, tho. As all unhealthy things do. Including ham. Sorry Z, but I still love me some honey-baked. Maybe your new aversion to it is your inbred Judaism trying to resurface. Ya think?

    Oh, and Kitty and I are borg on the Sneezie(ay?) post. I, too, thought that if it were really her, she's be talking about BUYING a cake at the Winn Dixie, not making it.

    Happy Birthday Greta!

  76. Oh my y'all have been chatty. Especially NM. Girl....I've decided I'm just going to bring the family and stay over again before we head out to Orlando. I'm coming in on Friday. Can we have cinnamon rolls?

    La - would you please remember your password so that you aren't anonymous? I think I can help you remember some possibilities, try some of these

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  78. Had a little technical difficulty there for a minute. You'll have to excuse me. I'm having a rough hair day.

    Maybe I should've remained Anonymous.

    Frick, I appreciate the help, my friend. After I tried all of your suggestions, I tried one more. Apparently if you click on the handy dandy "reset my password" deal and give them the CORRECT email address, it actually works.

    Who knew?

    This should tell you how long it's been since I posted anything over here under my username. I'd completely forgotten what my avatar was. And I think I'd like to forget again. Could be worse, I suppose. I could've had the cowboy midget wrestlers frozen in time.

    GA and Ash: Cue Grammy and NM's favorite song, It Wasn't Me. Something tells me Sneezay was actually Mellay.

    Just a hunch.

    NM, I'm so down with the baked potato bar. The PTO put one on at the school last week and it was the bomb. Everyone raved about it for minutes. They were too busy gettin' their eat on to rave about it any longer than that. Yall have a good time this weekend, and congrats to your daughter. That's a huge day, and I know yall are happy.

    And since everyone else is posting grocery lists, here's mine. I may or may not be throwing the following items into my BUGGY tomorrow at Wal-Mart. I suggest you do the same.

    Fiber One bars
    Prune juice
    6 pack of Activia
    10 lb. block of cheese
    case of peanut butter
    case of toilet paper
    air freshener
    * all of the above is for the cat, who is fittingly named Elvis
    blue suede shoes (because someone stepped on the other ones)
    2 packs of Bagelfuls...not for the cat
    everything on ZZUB's list except WANGS
    fried chicken wings
    dried beef
    hairy pickled pig lips
    pool boy (NOMG)
    one of those long skimmer things to give sad pool boy something to do
    Hamma pants
    Please Hamma, Don't Hurt 'Em CD
    Richard Simmons 'Sweatin' to the Oldies' DVD
    tank top
    Goofy hat
    back hair
    pit hair
    nose hair
    toe hair (NONM)
    leg warmers
    shoulder pads (NOMel'sactualshoulders..heh heh)
    case of Rock Star (the drink, not the man..because last time I checked that was illegal)
    case of Red Bull
    sleeping pills
    2 cans Great Value brand green beans (one to keep, one to give away)
    2 cans Great Value brand green beans with potatoes (because you don't have to go to Disney to score an upgrade)
    Saints Superbowl Champions T-shirt (oh wait, I already have one...forget the SEC, let's talk NFL and the SUPERBOWL CHAMPS, baby!!!)
    case of Dawn
    nose plugs
    *last four because we're really feeling (and smelling) the love from BP right about now

    And last but certainly not least...

    all the fixins for a baked potato bar. And a Heavenly Ham. Because since Ash mentioned it, I've got it on my mind.

    Z- Carrot ginger soup IS surprisingly good. And here's a tip: They serve it at Boma. It was so good there, I had to get the recipe. Try it next time you go. Just try to leave my favorite restaurant in all of Disneyworld untainted. That's all I ask.


  79. Welcome back Mississippi Girl. I think. Good night your avatar makes me think of a sweaty, hairy, stinky armpit (NOZ)

    NM, you will love the strawberry pretzel salad! It is a favorite around here. Be sure you sprinkle some grits in it since that is how we roll down here in the south. Congrats on K! T was baptized Easter Sunday and it was an amazing day. What a great weekend for you guys!

    MG and YAJ I am so happy for you! Madonna and FreakyJolie make it look like a piece of cake don't they? Hang in there!

    The Fricks will be in Disney 6/5 - 6/11. Thank goodness I will be there when Mel is. I'm going to need someone to pick me up and carry me when I've had too many.

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