Sunday, February 13, 2011

In Harm's Way

by Great Biscuit

Perhaps of all the vacation plans that a person can make, none are quite so foreboding as planning a trip to visit your Mother-In-law. Such was the second journey along I-35 that we embarked upon this past summer. My wife grew up in the Twin Cities. (That’s Minneapolis / Saint Paul for those of you who pay rack rate at Disney.) Her parents still live in those parts as does her sister’s family.

For those of you who did not suffer through my Disney TR, my wife is an identical twin. And no, she’s NEVER heard the Minnesota Twins joke so be sure you’re the first to point it out to her.

I’ll be standing at a distance.

For the sake of clarity, I have endeavored to come up with some sort of a standardized naming convention for the cast of this segment, as this particular forum lends itself to maintaining a certain degree of anonymity. While I considered nicknames, it seemed a bit cliché. Plus there is the fact that some of you who are familiar with prior writings know the cast by their given names already and thus might wind up in a land of confusion; which is apparently where this tangent has currently wandered. Thus, I will stick with the generally accepted abbreviations of FIL, MIL, SIL & BIL. (Father, Mother, Sister, Brother-In-Law respectively. Okay don’t get technical with me people. I know that if we are to follow the true letter of In-Law legality, BIL is my wife’s Brother In-Law and my “Sister-In-Law’s husband”, but I ain’t writing SILH as that’s just hokey. Besides as the Word says, “the two shall become one”, therefore, I fell scripturally cleared to claim my wife’s relational status for myself as well.) If you are of the type that has an aversion to abbreviations, then by all means feel free to interpret them as Phil, Millie, Sally and Bill. Because here at Zzubworld, it’s all about you the reader.

It occurs to me that the preceding paragraph was an entirely meaningless waste of time.

For this particular jaunt up I-35, we elected to take to the skies. This was for two reasons. One, I did not particularly wish to undertake a 21 hour drive. Two, I was returning home a week earlier than First Lady Biscuit and the girls and it’s a bit of a trip to come back and pick ‘em up.

We flew out of DFW, as Texans are wont to do, and winged our way north. I do not recall an abundance of detail concerning the flight, though I distinctly remember stopping in the airport before we boarded to partake of an Auntie Anne’s pretzel. What possible relevance that might have to our current tale eludes me. All I know is that we did eventually arrive at MIL’s house and headed to the basement. We got the girls settled into the family room where they would lay claim to the pull out couch while First Lady Biscuit and I took up residence in the guest room.

Rather than provide you with a blow by blow of our entire trip, and send up food porn of my MIL’s meat loaf, I thought perhaps a different tactic might be appreciated. Instead, I will offer up reviews of some of the attractions that we took in while in Minnesota which might be of interest to those considering a trip up that way. These will include Como Park Zoo, The Minnesota Children’s Museum, The Minnesota Science Museum, and The Mall of America. I’ll also include a few things that happened along the way, including one that will be in true spirit of Zzub.

And in the spirit of recent postings, (namely a lengthy intro combined with very little actual trip happenings and concluding with promise of things to come,) I think I’ll shift gears now and take this posting in an entirely different direction.

It seems to me that this would be an appropriate to begin the pre-trip writings for our 2012 return to The World.

This may seem a bit absurd to some, given the time frame we're dealing with. Indeed it does seem odd to be thinking that far ahead, even to myself; particularly given the fact that I’m not a frequent PTR fan. Yet I do have a reason for jumping into this vortex at the present juncture. That reason being? We are going to WDW with my BIL & SIL and their two girls. That’s right, we had such a great time in ’09 when my parents came with us that we are once again making our trip a family affair.

What’s more, we are actually looking forward to it.

As this particular portion of my I-35 TR will show, our two families love spending time together. People often mistake my BIL and me for brothers. We are both from Texas, have a similar look, have similar interests, both work as media techs at our churches, and we have similar personalities. In short, he tops of the list of folks whom I’d not only tolerate touring with, but actually enjoy the experience. And of course the lady folk, being twins and all that, are like two peas in a pod. Well, I guess technically they were...at one point.

Anywho….

BIL and SIL honeymooned at The World in 2002 and I helped them plan their trip. (I’m happy to report that it turned out much better than my own doomed post-nuptial excursion.) They stayed at All Star Music and spent five very enjoyable days soaking up the Did’ney. They have wanted to go back since, but have not been able to work it out. In 2012, their two daughters are going to be the same ages our two were when we went. All four of them are already excited about it and want to discuss it often.

As one might imagine, we have not yet booked and are currently in the resort selection phase. I want us to be settled on a resort, trip date and trip length by the time they come to our house this summer. With 2012 being the 40th anniversary of the Magic Kingdom, the new Fantasyland expansion and the opening of The Art of Animation Resort, we need to book early.

As such, I am currently deep in the throws of Power Point creation. It’s pretty well a foregone conclusion by this point that Deluxe is out as an option for the entirety of the trip, however it may be held in reserve as a final fling for our last couple of nights. So now it’s down to picking which category (Value or Mod) and which property. I am creating lists of pros and cons, doing my best to approximate a cost breakdown (based on current pricing and offers), pulling together a TON of photos, and am really trying not to push my vote by the way I present the material. (Objectivity can be a bear.)

And of course there is the inevitable question of time. How long should we stay? How long can we stay? Their crew is looking at around 5-7 days, Biscuit and company are looking at 8-10 days.

How that all reconciles remains to be seen.

All I know is that I’m looking forward to it.

I need it.

Between my job at the call center, working at the church, and freelancing as an IT tech for my aunt’s company, I feel like life is a constant blur of deadlines.

This is a ride I can’t wait to take and it’s a ride I look forward to sharing here.

In the meantime, I pray that God may bless each of you. Have a great Valentines Day and know that you are all loved.

15 comments:

  1. Ah, I've missed your musings GB. You are a very entertaining writer. Of course you are....otherwise why would you be here?

    I laugh everytime I think of you mistaking your SIL for your wife that one time (at the refrigerator was it?). Hope your visit to the inlaws was free of any mistaken identity incidents, this time. I also find it funny that your wife and her sis married such similar guys. Especially, being from way up in Mary Tyler Moore country, both ending up with Texans!!

    I am looking forward to hearing about more Biscuit adventures, and I'm also so excited for you in your planning for 2012. You know we're always up for hearing about WDW trip planning....doesn't matter how far in advance!

    Thanks for keeping this dinosaur moving, and Happy Valentine's Day!!!

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  2. GB,
    I'm excited for you and your 2012 family vacation. In many ways, pre-planning can be as much fun as being there. Well, sort of.

    Offspring #1 and Offspring #2 are identical twin daughters, so I know how confusing accurate identity can be at times.

    Hope you stayed warm up at the Twin Cities. Not that it has been all that warm down here lately.

    I'll pray for you with deadline-management.

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  3. Hey AC!

    Thanks for noticing me.

    Ashclan wrote: “I laugh everytime I think of you mistaking your SIL for your wife that one time (at the refrigerator was it?). Hope your visit to the inlaws was free of any mistaken identity incidents, this time. I also find it funny that your wife and her sis married such similar guys. Especially, being from way up in Mary Tyler Moore country, both ending up with Texans!!”

    Ah yes, the refrigerator incident. It is still laughed about in our family.

    For those who did not read my former TR, here is the incident.

    “People always ask, so I’ll go ahead and clear the air now. No I don’t get my wife and sister in law mixed up. (USUALLY) They do sound the same on the phone AND they look the same from the back. One of the most embarrassing moments of my life was one Christmas when my wife and I were at her parents’ house. (They have a townhouse and the kitchen is at the front, the dining room in the middle and the living room at the back, all in one big open, rectangular space.) I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife getting something to drink out of the fridge so I gave her good morning pat on the fanny. I then looked up and saw my wife sitting on the couch in the living room about the same time my sister in law shot a foot and a half straight in the air from behind the fridge door and said “WHO TOUCHED MY BUTT?!”

    DOH!”

    Consequently, that little episode resulted in me nearly choking to death recently. Our oldest daughter began inquiring about that certain subject which makes fathers have convulsions and purchase firearms. First Lady Biscuit covered the basics and gave a fairly broad explanation about touching someone in certain places. So it was, that a few weeks later that we were out a restaurant with some friends when the subject of my SIL came up. To which my daughter practically shouted “She and Daddy had s-x in grandma’s kitchen!”

    Yeah. I pretty well died on the spot.

    Needless to say, we had to have a follow discussion on that particular subject to clarify some details.


    Uncle Goofy said...
    “GB,
    I'm excited for you and your 2012 family vacation. In many ways, pre-planning can be as much fun as being there. Well, sort of.

    Offspring #1 and Offspring #2 are identical twin daughters, so I know how confusing accurate identity can be at times.

    Hope you stayed warm up at the Twin Cities. Not that it has been all that warm down here lately.

    I'll pray for you with deadline-management.”

    Hey UG!

    Thanks for dropping by. I always appreciate prayer. It’s what gets me through each day. I didn’t know you had twins. That’s awesome! I can tell my wife and SIL apart now, (unless they are in a fridge) but in their baby photos / early childhood pics, even they can’t tell who is who

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  4. After the stink bomb NM laid, I can see people are afraid to drop by. But they should. GB, this was hilarious. By far my favorite line was this one, "That’s Minneapolis / Saint Paul for those of you who pay rack rate at Disney." I was full on DED!

    I'm also amused by the title of this post. Either you had other intentions when you started writing or you're the new king of non-sequitors.

    Uncle G: how was your trip to WDW?

    I was just on the Disboards and there's a hilarious (and now locked) thread about bats in the WL lobby. I LOVE that place!

    The Disboards that is. Neverending source of amusement.

    Z

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  5. Hey GB - great read.

    I don't know much about the "middle" of the US so it was enlightening.

    Minnesota Twins....DED!

    GB said, "It occurs to me that the preceding paragraph was an entirely meaningless waste of time"

    I'd have to agree there, GB!

    Good luck with the WDW planning. Sounds like it's going to be a great trip!

    Zzub, Disboards, huh. Maybe I should dust off the old password and check it out. Or not. But bats do sound like fun.

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  6. Power point presentation, really? My family starts the eye rolling and sighs when I whip out my handy Disney Excel spreadsheet, can't imagine what would happen if I had a power point presentation.

    I applaud your efforts and do not think you are super nerdy or have way too much time on your hands :)

    LOL on your daughter's comment at the restaurant, talk about awkward!! Poor SIL, was she married at the time? If not I bet she was really startled. For some reason married men seem to have an unexplainable need to pat the rears of their wives as much as possible? I don't get it...the need to do it that is, I certainly get the rear pats every time I bend over, DH makes sure of that.

    Didn't Zzub once touch another woman's rear in error, or was it her thigh??

    Anyway, good installment :)

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  7. "Didn't Zzub once touch another woman's rear in error, or was it her thigh??" It was her back end. And it was Mrs. Incredible. And it couldn't be avoided.

    The weather must be really nice in the southern part of the US Otherwise, NM would be here crying havoc and letting slip the dogs of war.

    Z

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  8. Hey Z!

    It was vague reference to entering the realm of my MIL.

    YAK – thanks for the well wishes. Planning can be a hoot!

    Motherofboys – I have the spreadsheet too. And an Access database. And a few MS Word templates. SIIL was indeed single and very startled. As to explaining the impetus which compels a pat on the keister, I got nothing.

    I forgot about the Mrs. Incredible incident. That story still cracks me up.

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  9. GB, it's good to "hear" you again! I'm excited to hear about your adventures in the Twin Cities, and I'm REALLY excited that you guys are planning another WDW trip :) I understand being swamped, because I'm there, too; from one swampee to another, hang in there!

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  10. Hey V!

    Hope all is going well down south!

    I am totally looking forward to the next trip.

    Be sure to find a few minutes to relax!

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  11. Well, it looks like I'm really late to the party, but that's just because I'm the coolest guest coming. Right? Fashionably late and all...

    GB, this was a really funny installment! Minnesota Twins - DED!

    But what I love the most, is that you have such a great relationship with your extended family. I know inlaws can always bring their set of challenges, but it sure seems like you have a great situation as far as getting along with yours. I think that's very cool.

    A Power Point presentation? What a FANTASTIC idea! I'm logging out here to start mine right now.

    Thanks for the great read, GB. Keep em coming.

    NM

    P.S. ZZUB, you're a turd.

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  12. I read this the other day and spent some time laughing out loud at the rear end refrigerator mix up. At least it wasn't The Refrigerator's rear end you grabbed.

    The football player. Not the appliance.

    Anyway, I read it and meant to comment. But then I randomly began compiling all the ways ZZUB has shown himself to be a turd. And needless to say, I got lost down a rather long and involved rabbit hole.

    Still haven't reached the end of the list, but I decided to come up for air for a bit.

    Great post, GB. Keep it up.

    Layla

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  13. NM wrote, "P.S. ZZUB, you're a turd." Coming from you, that's high praise indeed.

    La2 wrote, "But then I randomly began compiling all the ways ZZUB has shown himself to be a turd. And needless to say, I got lost down a rather long and involved rabbit hole." What an interesting choice of words.

    Lets's see NM calls me a turd and then LaLa follows suit. Hmmm. Methinks a turd convention took place and the two of you attended. And decided to turd up the world.

    But enough about turds.

    Unless you're discussing the hyper-privileged public employee union members in WI who are throwing a collective hissy fit b/c the duly elected Legislature is considering voting to end their over-sized rights to collectively bargain for better benefits than most working people receive.

    They'll still have their rights to collectively bargain for compensation; just not benefits. But you wouldn't know that from the coverage on your TV.

    This is what the President refers to as an assault on the unions. His administration is an assault on common sense.

    And where's the NYT lamenting the hightened rhetoric? The vitriol? The incendiary language? Could it be there's a double standard?! Can you even imagine what kind of hysteria would erupt if members of the Tea Party acted this way? Or protested at Nancy Pelosi's house?!

    Well, I feel better now. Almost like I passed a difficult . . .

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  14. I had a really bad typo so I had to make it go poof and repost. Of course, when I copied my original post, I forgot to fix the typo and therefore I had to poof it a second time. My bad.


    GB you are one witty man!! I am cracking up about the 'food porn of your MIL's meatloaf'. I can just see you at the table with your family whipping out the camera to get the goods for your tr. Some of the things we do at Disney just don't really fly anywhere else do they now?

    The comment made at the restaurant was full on funny! I actually did laugh out loud. Sometimes I don't believe it when people put lol, but I hope you know I'm for reals when I say it. LOL!


    Zzub sad "Lets's see NM calls me a turd and then LaLa follows suit. Hmmm. Methinks a turd convention took place and the two of you attended. And decided to turd up the world."

    You know I'm rolling! If I could cuss here, I would share one of the funniest sayings. But, it would probably go over like a turd in a punchbowl. (which is Mr. Frick's favorite line)

    Happy planning on that 2012 trip with the family! My vote is to go for the value (POP!) and rock the parks at the beginning of the trip and then move to deluxe for a few and enjoy the resort and all it has to offer (while still enjoying the parks)

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  15. Hey Frick! I missed the comment over here. Sorry about that!

    Disney definitely lends itself to some things that you just don't experience any where else. (Taking photos of everything you eat being counted among them.)

    DED over Mr. Frick's punchbowl sayings. That's full on funny!

    Don't worry over the double deletion. I'll clear it out so it doesn't show anymore.

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